It wasn't enough that you carried me in a purse when I was a puppy.Or dressed me as a hot dog and paraded me in public at the Genesee Dog Park on Dogoween.
Yet, even worse, dressed me in a Snuggie and walked down South Lucille Street -- in plain view of the other dogs in the neighborhood. You'd die of embarrassment if you knew what the Rottweiler was saying about you in "pee mail."
It's nice that you voted in that inane poll, and that you intended to give me a holiday gift. But instead of spending $18 -- plus postage and handling -- on a six-pack of pigs ears or Chicago White Sox jersey ("South side all the way, baby!"), you bought me a "reindeer costume."
Like Jay Leno said to Hugh Grant after the actor's famous solicitation-related arrest: What the hell were you thinking?
A word to the wise... keep your Burberry Pilgrim Bag out of doggie reach.
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