Take a moment to remember our fallen troops

Before you commence your Memorial Day celebration with your picnic or barbecue, take a moment to remember the men and women of the military who died while serving our country.

Originally called "Decoration Day", Americans first celebrated Memorial Day on May 5, 1868 when the graves of Union soldiers were adorned with flowers at Arlington National Cemetery. Simmering with bitterness over the Civil War, many Southern states refused to acknowledge Decoration Day. The term "Memorial Day" was not employed until after World War II and was incorporated into federal law in 1967.

Since 1922, the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) have assembled and distributed red poppies to commemorate Memorial Day. The VFW registered the name "Buddy Poppy" with the US Patent Office in 1924. Take a moment to acknowledge the veterans selling Buddy Poppies this weekend.

Interestingly, the cable networks aren't running war movies to commemorate Memorial Day. If we ran Comcast, we'd broadcast these movies -- all involving death in service -- to note the holiday:

• Battleground (1949): Van Johnson, John Hodiak, Ricardo Montalban, George Murphy. William Wellman, director. World War II.
• The Bridges at Toko-Ri (1954): William Holden, Grace Kelly, Frederic March, Mickey Rooney. Mark Robson, director. Korean War.
• Courage Under Fire (1996): Denzel Washington, Meg Ryan, Lou Diamond Phillips, Matt Damon. Edward Zwick, director. Operation Desert Storm.
• Destination Tokyo (1944): Cary Grant, John Garfield, Alan Hale. Delmar Daves, director. World War II.
• From Here to Eternity (1953): Burt Lancaster, Montgomery Clift, Deborah Kerr, Frank Sinatra, Donna Reed. Fred Zimermann, director. World War II.
• Glory (1989): Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Matthew Broderick. Edward Zwick, director. Civil War.
• The Great Escape (1963): Steve McQueen, James Garner, Sir Richard Attenborough, Charles Bronson. John Sturges, director. World War II.
• They Were Expendable (1945): John Wayne, Robert Montgomery, Donna Reed, Ward Bond. John Ford, director. World War II.
• Twelve O'Clock High (1949): Gregory Peck, Dean Jagger, Gary Merrill, Hugh Marlowe. Henry King, director. World War II.

The co-creator of thirtysomething places twice on this list. Go figure.

Cute as a button... until Scruffy hits the pavement at 30 miles per hour

Sure, Scruffy looked adorable as the breeze flowed through his hair from the rolled-down window of your Prius. You probably thought that Scruffy, sitting in your young son's lap, was secure as your vehicle motored northbound along Rainier Avenue South near South Charles Street around noon today.

Secure... unless you brake suddenly when some jaywalker crosses five lines of traffic. Or secure unless some driver with his ear attached to his HTC Touch Pro rear ends your hatchback with his Yukon Denali. Then Scruffy goes tumbling onto Rainier Avenue South... and into the path of a double-coach #7.

Even more intriguing -- and disturbing -- is that the rear window remained rolled down as you turned west on South Dearborn Street and maneuvered in the lane that enters Interstate 5.

What the hell were you thinking?

"Red asphalt" doesn't look good on anyone, much-less your family dog. Roll up your car window so Scruffy doesn't fall out.

What becomes of dog park combatants? They appear on "Judge Judy" and receive their 15 minutes of notoriety

It's New Year's Day in Albuquerque. Rather than spending the daylight hours watching non-Bowl Championship Series (BCS) games -- Outback, Capitol One and Konica Minolta Gator Bowls -- dog owners celebrate with a trip to the dog park. The towards men goes to hell in a hand basket when a verbal altercation escalates to a Judge Judy lawsuit.

The plaintiff alleged that the defendant's "dog" -- mixed-breed, pit mix with a severed ear that patrolled an automobile yard -- was aggressive with the other canines. The defendant countered that his dog was "playing" and "barking" -- and that the plaintiff was oversensitive. Physical contact ensues, and the plaintiff files for damages in television court.

What an unusual scenario. Can't happen in the Rainier Valley.

For those fortunate enough to have jobs during the Bush Recession, work during the day and don't indulge in reality daytime television, here's a three-part loop of the trial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWIdCHEGk2s&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMMzOhX_gOY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dro8dfT59v4&feature=related

New York dog-park aggressor to peacemaker: "Bite me."

You have undoubtedly read the Associated Press (AP) story about a conflict between dog-park users in New York City. The tale takes place at a dog park in New City, NY, 30 miles north of New York City.

Two dog owners, the AP reports, went mano a mano when one individual objected to the manner of play between the two canines. When a third individual attempted to break about the fight, one of the two combatants reportedly bit the peacemaker on the wrist.

The alleged biter turned himself over to the police later this week. Police charged the man with third-degree assault. The man will appear in court on a misdemeanor charge.

Lest anybody here at the Rainier Valley gets any ideas of biting the hand of another dog owner at Genesee Park, the Revised Code of Washington (RCW) §9A.36.031 defines third-degree assault;

(1) A person is guilty of assault in the third degree if he or she, under circumstances not amounting to assault in the first or second degree:

a) With intent to prevent or resist the execution of any lawful process or mandate of any court officer or the lawful apprehension or detention of himself or another person, assaults another; or

(b) Assaults a person employed as a transit operator or driver, the immediate supervisor of a transit operator or driver, a mechanic, or a security officer, by a public or private transit company or a contracted transit service provider, while that person is performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(c) Assaults a school bus driver, the immediate supervisor of a driver, a mechanic, or a security officer, employed by a school district transportation service or a private company under contract for transportation services with a school district, while the person is performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(d) With criminal negligence, causes bodily harm to another person by means of a weapon or other instrument or thing likely to produce bodily harm; or

(e) Assaults a firefighter or other employee of a fire department, county fire marshal's office, county fire prevention bureau, or fire protection district who was performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(f) With criminal negligence, causes bodily harm accompanied by substantial pain that extends for a period sufficient to cause considerable suffering; or

(g) Assaults a law enforcement officer or other employee of a law enforcement agency who was performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(h) Assaults a peace officer with a projectile stun gun; or

(i) Assaults a nurse, physician, or health care provider who was performing his or her nursing or health care duties at the time of the assault. For purposes of this subsection: "Nurse" means a person licensed under chapter 18.79 RCW; "physician" means a person licensed under chapter18.57 or 18.71 RCW; and "health care provider" means a person certified under chapter 18.71 or 18.73 RCW who performs emergency medical services or a person regulated under Title 18 RCW and employed by, or contracting with, a hospital licensed under chapter 70.41 RCW.

(2) Assault in the third degree is a class C felony.

Did'ja notice that §9A.36.031(g) addresses "a law enforcement officer or other employee of a law enforcement agency who was performing his or her official duties at the time of assault": such as an officer from the Seattle Police Department... or an Seattle Animal Control (e.g., "dog catcher")?

BTW, RCW §9A.36.041 defines fourth degree assault as:

(1) A person is guilty of assault in the fourth degree if, under circumstances not amounting to assault in the first, second, or third degree, or custodial assault, he or she assaults another.

(2) Assault in the fourth degree is a gross misdemeanor.

The penalty for simple assault in Washington state is punishable by up to 90 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

The moral? Think twice before taking a bite out of a fellow dog-park user. Got a conflict with another individual at the park that could escalate to bodily harm? Call 911. And if you must resort to fisticuffs, take your beef away from the park. We can think of a couple of notorious Rainier Valley establishments where fights in the parking lot -- or worse -- are well, a "walk in the park", business as usual.

Toast All-American dogs, evil volcano gods and the 30th anniversary of Mt. St. Helens

With the media rife with ripped-from-the-headlines stories involving xenophobia, the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) sought the unlikely comments of Weather Prognosticator/Labor Advocate O'Doul the Collie.

"Although I don't look like I was born in this country," O'Doul said through his spokesman, Mount Baker resident Tony, "I'm really an American. I'm not a foreign dog."

To further celebrate our American heritage, we bring you a cocktail recipe linked to our fiftieth state... and the birthplace of the forty-forth President of the United States. Say "aloha" to Hawaii!

Two drinking establishments from the days of yore both claim to have invented the mai tai.Los Angeles-based Don the Beachcomber reputedly concocted the first mai tai in the early 1930s. Trader Vic's Polynesian restaurant in Oakland boasted to have first brewed the beverage in 1947.

Former Major League Baseball Pitcher/Author/Shredded Bubble Gum Entrepreneur Jim Bouton described in Ball Four discovering mai tais when his minor-league ballclub went to Hawaii for series in Honolulu. Bouton characterized mai tais as "a Hawaiian drink brewed by the evil gods of the volcanoes and no fit for a clean-cut American boy like me."

Celebrate the thirtieth anniversary of the eruption of Mt. St. Helen's with a cocktail courtesy of the evil vulcano gods.

Trader Vic's Mai Tai

• 1 oz. gold rum
• 1 oz. dark rum
• 1 oz. triple sec
• ½ oz. lime juice
• ½ oz. Orgeat syrup

Shake liquid contents with ice. Strain into an old-fashioned glass filled with crushed ice.

Garnish with pineapple chunk, maraschino cherry and mint leaves.

Bonus points if you serve in a vintage Trader Vic’s cocktail glass that you found at a yard sale – and not on eBay. Any wanna-be hipster can click the "buy it now" button.

Travel tips from the Department of Common Sense

Apparently local canine fanciers haven't grasped the concept that dog-leaning-out-of-window-of-moving-vehicle is not the haute fashion statement of the warm-weather season. "Safety first" comes somewhere in the priority list after:

• Deciding whether to prepare shrimp ceviché or Cocoa Krisipies treats for the Lost series finale viewing party.
• Scoring tickets to the Seattle Sounders FC match against Argentina's Boca Juniors on the 26th without spending next month's Whole Foods budget. Buying organic vegetables at Safeway or QFC? What the...?
• Exhibiting sympathy for the residents of the Gulf Coast while still driving one's Lexus GX10 or Land Rover LR4.

Enough already.

Your friends at Car Talk have posted a FIDO (Freeway Information for Dog Owners) page on their website with a busload of information (how's that for a mixing your metaphors?) about traveling with your four-legged friends. By the way, Tom and Ray Magliozzi discourage drivers from the dog-leaning-out-of-window-of-moving-vehicle practice, which they say works "right up until the moment that a bee hits you in the eye at 70 mph."

http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/fido/

Good Dog, Mikey!

No dispute: The guy's best playing years are behind and at present he's hitting a buck seventy-six as of Mother's Day.

But if you wanted somebody to watch your back, wouldn't you want the Rottweiler of the Seattle Mariners clubhouse... Outfielder Mike Sweeney? Loyal, protective, willing to go to the wall for you?

While the local media spew stories of future Hall of Famer Ken Griffey Jr. sleeping in the clubhouse Saturday night, Sweeney came out swinging in support of his teammate. Sweeney was quoted in a sportswriter's Twitter account:

We will support and fight and take a bullet for Ken Griffey Jr. if we have to. He's our teammate. Nothing is going to divide this clubhouse, especially a makeshift article made up of lies. We don't think there are two players who said that (about Griffey sleeping). I challenged everyone in that room -- if they said that to stand up and fight me. No one stood up.

If I needed a dog to guard my house against smash-and-grab punk burglars in the lovely Rainier Valley, I'd want the Mike Sweeney version of Good Dog, Carl. Sic 'em, boy.

Tell Mama... Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day from your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP)!

We posted this item early enough in the event that you awoke from your hangover, logged on and -- to your dismay -- realized that you forgot Mother's Day. To those guilty of the crime of omission: Shame on you. In these days of Skype and high-speed, Internet-bundled phone service, don't think for a minute that Mom will be satisfied with your phone call. We're not living in the 1970s; Mom is onto you. She won't take kindly to a text message, either, tightwad.

Quick: Get yourself to Costco, Pottery Barn or Crate and Barrell -- and pick up a last-minute present. Gift cards and money work as suitable substitute gifts.

American corporations -- greeting card companies, florists, cell phone carriers -- knock themselves out shaming us into purchasing gifts for our deserving mothers. Funny thing is, the creator of Mother's Day would not be amused. Anna Jarvis, a former teacher, dedicated her life to establish a holiday honoring mothers of the past and present. Jarvis pursued politicians, lawmakers, religious leaders, businessmen and members of women's groups to promote her cause. When Jarvis linked up with the World's Sunday School Association, she gained a valuable ally in lobbying members of Congress to create a national holiday commemorating -- in the words of Connie Conehead of the classic Saturday Night Live skits from the 1970s-- the maternal units of the family.

In 1914, Congress passed a Joint Resolution establishing the second Sunday of May as "Mother's Day". President Woodrow Wilson signed the legislation. The original intent of the holiday to laud the roles of American women in nuclear families.

Ironically, Anna Jarvis opposed the inevitable path to commercializing Mother's Day. "I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit," she said. Jarvis 0pposed the sales of commercial greeting cards, which she described as "a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write."

In 1923, Jarvis filed suit against New York Governor Al Smith in opposition of a Mother's Day celebration. When a judge dismissed Jarvis' suit, the angry plaintiff participated in a public protest and was arrested for her endeavors.

Anna Jarvis's original intents notwithstanding, you would be well advised to fete your mother in the manner in which she deserves. Maybe Mom wants an iPad or Kindle for Mother's Day.

If you really want to score points -- and simultaneously draw Jarvis' ire -- prepare Mom a celebratory brunch cocktail with frittats that you prepared:

Bloody Mama Bloody Mary

• 1-1½ oz oz. vodka in a highball glass filled with ice.
• Tomato juice, enough to fill glass.
• 1 dash of celery salt.
• 1 dash ground black pepper
• 1 dash Tabasco.
• 2-4 dashes of Worcestershire sauce.
• 1/8 dash pure horseradish (not creamed).
• Dash of lemon or lime juice.

Shake contents vigorously -- if you're 007 -- or stir if you're Oddjob. Garnish cocktail with celery stalk.

A toast to this year's "it girl"... Betty White

If you are unaware of actress Betty White's red-hot Q score, you've likely spent most of your time in a deprivation tank, Dating Game isolation booth or a coma.

America seems psyched that the 88 year-old, multiple Emmy winner is hosting this evening's episode of Saturday Night Live. OK, so the show isn't as funny as the old days of Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph, Will Ferrell (I dispute this sentiment, totally overrated in my mind), Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Phil Hartman, Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy, the first and second seasons' casts.... well, you get the idea. But half a million FaceBook users persuaded the suits at the Peacock Network that they'd rather see the former Golden Girls' star than Kate Gosselin, Ben Roethlisberger, or the cast of Jersey Shores. White is the oldest person to host SNL since an 80-year old woman headlined the "Anybody Can Host" contest in 1977.

While we could cite White's acting accomplishments, which are many... we choose instead of honor the octogenarian's work on behalf of animal-welfare issues. After hosting a syndicated program in the 1970s called Pet Set (celebrities and their pets), White became involved with the Greater Los Angeles Zoo Association and the Morris Foundation. The American Veterinary Association bestowed upon White in 1987 for her charitable work with animals. in 2006, the City of Los Angeles honored the comic address by installing a plaque in her honor at the gorilla exhibit at the Greater Los Angeles Zoo. The City also declared White an "Ambassador to Animals."

The Game Show Network (GSN) is honoring White's SNL host position with a Match Game marathon -- a program upon which White was a regular panelist -- from 9 AM (EDT) to 4 PM (EDT). The WEtv cable network is airing episodes of The Golden Girls, the sitcom that comprises a maybe a fifth of the cable station's programming.

If you require libations during the all-day Betty-thon, here's a cocktail in honor of White's love of animals:

Salty Dog

• 1½ oz. vodka or gin.
• 3 oz. grapefruit juice.

Combine the grapefruit juice and clear alcoholic beverage of your choice in a shaker filled with ice.

Shake.

Salt rim of highball glass.

Pour contents of cocktail in highball glass.

NOTE: No animals were harmed in the making of this cocktail.

And you want to assist the Morris Foundation -- an organization White supports that "provides research to protect, treat, and cure animals:

http://www.morrisanimalfoundation.org

Postscript: Averaging a 8.8 rating and a 21 share. the Betty White-hosted SNL episode scored higher than any primetime network offering for Saturday, May 8. The SNL program scored twice the rating of a National Basketball Association (NBA) post-season contest. We in Seattle, though, have little-to-no interest in the exploits of the team-stealing NBA. LeBron who?

Festejar, festejar... it's Cinco de Mayo!

Feliz Cinco de Mayo from your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park!

Too many Americans view Cinco de Mayo as an occasion to overindulge in fully loaded nachos and margaritas. While we would never begrudge anyone from consuming too much fat, dairy, sodium, carbs and alcohol (all the major food groups), we at the DDGP also think one should possess the most rudimentary understanding of a holiday that rationalizes your purchases of José Cuervo.

Cinco de Mayo traces its roots back to French occupation of Mexico. After the Mexican-American War of 1846-1848, the Mexican economy fell into crisis and the country in bankruptcy. Attempting to clear up the debt, Mexican President issued a two-year moratorium of foreign debt on July 17, 1861; debt restructuring and repayment would commence two years later. Like some of the predatory banks and mortgage companies in the real estate crisis in our country a decade-and-a-half later, a cadre of foreign debtors (American, Spanish and French) attempted to foreclose and regain the monies.

On May 5, 1862, the Mexicans fought back. A rag-tag team of 5,000 underpowered Mezito and Zapotec Indians defeated the French army in the "Batilla de Puebla. Party on, Wayne.

Chances are, if you aren't sipping a Tecaté, Dos Equis, or Corona with a lime wedge (remember when that was all the rage in the mid-1980s?), you're fixing a batch of margaritas. There's nothing wrong with going "old school" -- tequila, orange liqueur and lime juice. But if you want something different, try the...

Madagascar Marquita

• ½ oz. Navan vanilla liqueur
• 1½ oz. premium light tequila
• ¼ jalapeño, muddled
• 1 barspoon agavé nector
• Jalapeño pepper for garnish

Muddle (grind) the jalapeño in the bottom of the drinking glass.

Add the other ingredients.

Shake and serve in a glass with ice. Garnish with a jalapeño.

Party like it's 1862.

Dog leaning out of a car window is cool... until you suddenly brake in the "sharrow" lane

Our spotter saw you driving in Mount Baker around 11:40 am today. The left rear window was cranked down. And we saw your dark, middle-sized dog leaning halfway out of the vehicle as you proceeded northbound on 38th Avenue South. (The small frou-frou pooch at the right used for illustration purposes only. But shame on that driver.)

What the hell were you thinking?

One sudden stop in the "sharrow" lane, and your canine would finish a distant second in the Gravity v. Dog contest.

Last year, several of us at the dog park watched as a large, wanna-be monster truck cruised down Genesee. We saw a small object hurtle out of the passenger car window and onto the pavement.

The falling object was a Chihuahua. The truck stopped, and a woman exited the vehicle. Seeing no visible injuries (it's hard for one not trained in medicine to detect internal injuries or concussion), the woman nonchalantly picked up the dog, climbed back in the truck that proceeded down Genesee.

A friend driving down Denny a year ago saw a thirtysomething driving an old Land Rover -- probably with a Sierra Club bumper sticker, so hip and ironic. The back window of the window was rolled halfway down. The woman was so busy listening to her indie tunes that she didn't notice that her lab was halfway out of the car. Caught in the window -- for better or worse -- he couldn't make his complete escape from the vehicle traveling at more than 30 miles per hour.

It's one thing to crack the window open to and let your dog sniff the fresh air. It's another thing to jeopardize your dog's safety by leaving a large enough opening that would allow your dog to fall or jump out of a vehicle. Your Rottweiler wouldn't like road rash any more than you.

Weather Prognosticator/Working Class Dog O'Doul the Collie extends his special May Day greeting

Your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) asked Mount Baker resident Tony to convey any May Day greetings that O'Doul the Collie wished to extend to his legion of fans, including, perhaps his friends at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

At present time, O'Doul has taken a hiatus from his weather-prognostication tasks. "He's not going to work (Saturday)," Tony said "He's going to take the day off and enjoy the nice weather."

The collie -- rough- and smooth-coated varieties -- was bred to herd livestock in Scotland. The American Kennel Club (AKC) classified the collie as a member of the Working Group until 1983. Then, in a year of newsworthy beginnings and endings -- the first flight of the Challenger (STS-6) space shuttle, signing of federal legislation designating the third Monday of January as a federal holiday honoring the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., broadcast of the series finale of M*A*S*H* that drew 125 million viewers -- the AKC created the Herding Group. Members of the Working Group, including the collie, were classified in the herding category. Think of Major League Baseball (MLB) reconfiguring the American League (AL) West division in 1994 with the California Angels, Oakland Athletics, Seattle Mariners and Texas Rangers.

Regardless of AKC labels, Tony said, O'Doul identifies himself as a "working" dog. "He considers anything he does as working," Tony explained.

When asked of O'Doul's final thoughts, Tony offered, "Working dogs of the world unite."

May Day for Labor on its special day

Happy May Day from your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP)!

People throughout the world on May 1 celebrate the social and economic achievements of the labor movement. In these contemporary times of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NFTA, aka, the Tratado de Libre Comercio de América del Norté), double-digit unemployment and Indonesian employees earning less than $5 a day making $200 sneakers, the commemoration would take less time than an episode of How I Married Your Mother.

All this talk about labor celebrations gets one nostalgic about a worker-friendly era in which union membership wasn't eyed with the suspicion and hostility as in the post-Bush Recession. While sorting through YouTube, I happened upon a commercial classic... "Look For the Union Label" courtesy of the International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union (ILGWU). Sure, we laughed at the laborers sporting Coke-bottle glasses and clad in polyester pant suits. But, really... what's wrong with the idea of hard-working people, however funny looking, aspiring to hard for decent wages and benefits? When have you last seen an article of clothing made in the USA?

Those who find the concept of American-produced clothing loathsome probably rooted for Fred Thompson's cretinous supervisor -- and against Jackie, Roseanne, Crystal and the laborers at the Wellman plastics factory on Roseanne. You can take your 8,000-widgets-a-day quota and kiss Mrs. Connor's abundant... Yes, you are better off participating in the time-honored ritual of May Day pole dancing, which seems more suited for your tastes and sensibilities.

If you want to catch the classic "Look for the Union Label" commercial from your childhood:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0JdZd3Cpjc&feature=related