Happy Thanksgiving!

The average American consumes 4,500 calories (229 grams of fat) on Thanksgiving. All that turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, candied yams, gravy, green-bean casserole and pumpkin pie make up a 45-percent fat content. And if you need two or three bourbon and waters to self medicate before the relatives arrive add another 400 or so calories.

Translation in Valerie Bertinelli-eese: "Hello, Jenny..."

Before you lapse into a well-deserved tryptophan coma, remember to catch the Purina National Dog Show on KING-5 at noon today following the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. For those of who tuned into the parade to see if the Woody Woodpecker balloon deflates on national television, why not invest two more hours in front of the tube?

And after the dog show, take your dog for a walk... or better yet, a muddy romp at the Genesee off-leash dog park in Lovely Rainier Valley. Do you really want to waste the better part of your afternoon watching the Dallas Cowboys mop up the turf with the Oakland Raiders? For the same entertainment value, you can tune into a marathon of Lockup: San Quentin on MSNBC.