Rainier Valley Dick's Drive-In would be so beautiful to local cockers

While Seattle-area humans apply full-court pressure to lobby for the new Dick's Drive-In locale, local cocker spaniels Biff and Zeke (aliases) issue a canine throw down in making the case for a restaurant in Lovely Rainier Valley.

"They would love it, frankly," said owner and long-time Seattle resident Sally (alias), "because their mama likes it."

A Rainier Valley locale would offer only one setback, the Mount Baker resident said. "They can't order on their own," she said. "They don't know how to say, 'Give me a plain burger without onions.'"

But in true Southeast Seattle fashion, Sally doubts that the Dick's chain would build open its doors in the Rainier Valley. She described hearing a story on a National Public Radio (NPR) station reporting that the Dick's organization would prefer to set up shop near the University of Washington.

The proprietors of the Seattle burger establishment suggested that they would give due consideration to an online poll that asked voters to choose from one of three locations: "North" (Shoreline, Mountlake Terrace, Lynnwood, Edmonds, South Everett), "South" (West Seattle, South Seattle, Renton, Burien, SeaTac, Tukwila) and "East" (Bellevue, Redmond, Kirkland, Bothell, Mercer Island, Issaquah, Sammamish). The brain trust at Dick's later announced that the results were "scrubbed to eliminate tens of thousands of extra votes added by a handful of talented but ethically challenged computer hackers." The number of votes for the "South" magically shrunk.

At present the online survey shows the "East" leading at 46 percent, followed by the "South" (29 percent) and "East" (24 percent).

For those who want to see Dick'w Drive-In locate in the Rainier Valley, go to:

http://www.ddir.com/

Don't you want to keep our fast-food profits in Seattle... instead of Oak Brook, IL (McDonalds' corporate headquarters), Miami (Burger King), San Diego (Jack in the Box), Irvine, CA (Taco Bell), Dublin, IL (Wendy's), or Sandy Springs, GA (Arby's)? Think local.

If we find that the survey results are suspicious and potentially invalid we can hire Al Gore's legal team from the 2000 election and challenge the election. Or not.