What becomes of dog park combatants? They appear on "Judge Judy" and receive their 15 minutes of notoriety

It's New Year's Day in Albuquerque. Rather than spending the daylight hours watching non-Bowl Championship Series (BCS) games -- Outback, Capitol One and Konica Minolta Gator Bowls -- dog owners celebrate with a trip to the dog park. The towards men goes to hell in a hand basket when a verbal altercation escalates to a Judge Judy lawsuit.

The plaintiff alleged that the defendant's "dog" -- mixed-breed, pit mix with a severed ear that patrolled an automobile yard -- was aggressive with the other canines. The defendant countered that his dog was "playing" and "barking" -- and that the plaintiff was oversensitive. Physical contact ensues, and the plaintiff files for damages in television court.

What an unusual scenario. Can't happen in the Rainier Valley.

For those fortunate enough to have jobs during the Bush Recession, work during the day and don't indulge in reality daytime television, here's a three-part loop of the trial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWIdCHEGk2s&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMMzOhX_gOY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dro8dfT59v4&feature=related

New York dog-park aggressor to peacemaker: "Bite me."

You have undoubtedly read the Associated Press (AP) story about a conflict between dog-park users in New York City. The tale takes place at a dog park in New City, NY, 30 miles north of New York City.

Two dog owners, the AP reports, went mano a mano when one individual objected to the manner of play between the two canines. When a third individual attempted to break about the fight, one of the two combatants reportedly bit the peacemaker on the wrist.

The alleged biter turned himself over to the police later this week. Police charged the man with third-degree assault. The man will appear in court on a misdemeanor charge.

Lest anybody here at the Rainier Valley gets any ideas of biting the hand of another dog owner at Genesee Park, the Revised Code of Washington (RCW) §9A.36.031 defines third-degree assault;

(1) A person is guilty of assault in the third degree if he or she, under circumstances not amounting to assault in the first or second degree:

a) With intent to prevent or resist the execution of any lawful process or mandate of any court officer or the lawful apprehension or detention of himself or another person, assaults another; or

(b) Assaults a person employed as a transit operator or driver, the immediate supervisor of a transit operator or driver, a mechanic, or a security officer, by a public or private transit company or a contracted transit service provider, while that person is performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(c) Assaults a school bus driver, the immediate supervisor of a driver, a mechanic, or a security officer, employed by a school district transportation service or a private company under contract for transportation services with a school district, while the person is performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(d) With criminal negligence, causes bodily harm to another person by means of a weapon or other instrument or thing likely to produce bodily harm; or

(e) Assaults a firefighter or other employee of a fire department, county fire marshal's office, county fire prevention bureau, or fire protection district who was performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(f) With criminal negligence, causes bodily harm accompanied by substantial pain that extends for a period sufficient to cause considerable suffering; or

(g) Assaults a law enforcement officer or other employee of a law enforcement agency who was performing his or her official duties at the time of the assault; or

(h) Assaults a peace officer with a projectile stun gun; or

(i) Assaults a nurse, physician, or health care provider who was performing his or her nursing or health care duties at the time of the assault. For purposes of this subsection: "Nurse" means a person licensed under chapter 18.79 RCW; "physician" means a person licensed under chapter18.57 or 18.71 RCW; and "health care provider" means a person certified under chapter 18.71 or 18.73 RCW who performs emergency medical services or a person regulated under Title 18 RCW and employed by, or contracting with, a hospital licensed under chapter 70.41 RCW.

(2) Assault in the third degree is a class C felony.

Did'ja notice that §9A.36.031(g) addresses "a law enforcement officer or other employee of a law enforcement agency who was performing his or her official duties at the time of assault": such as an officer from the Seattle Police Department... or an Seattle Animal Control (e.g., "dog catcher")?

BTW, RCW §9A.36.041 defines fourth degree assault as:

(1) A person is guilty of assault in the fourth degree if, under circumstances not amounting to assault in the first, second, or third degree, or custodial assault, he or she assaults another.

(2) Assault in the fourth degree is a gross misdemeanor.

The penalty for simple assault in Washington state is punishable by up to 90 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

The moral? Think twice before taking a bite out of a fellow dog-park user. Got a conflict with another individual at the park that could escalate to bodily harm? Call 911. And if you must resort to fisticuffs, take your beef away from the park. We can think of a couple of notorious Rainier Valley establishments where fights in the parking lot -- or worse -- are well, a "walk in the park", business as usual.