It's World Series time: What's your beef?

It's four days from Halloween so in the wacky timetable of Major League Baseball (MLB), it must be the start of the World Series.

Pitting the San Francisco Giants against the Texas Rangers, the 2010 World Series characterizes the blue-versus-red-state, liberal-versus-conservative conflict at its best. On one hand, you have the San Francisco: inner-city, Wagyu carpaccio with grilled blue corn cakes and tossed arugula, MSNBC, Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Woodstock Farms organic peanut butter, Free Tibet, Anchor Steam, Levi 501s, Former Governor Jerry Brown (and maybe future governor in January), alternative energy sources, National Public Radio, Puggle riding in a doggie car seat in a Prius. On the other hand, you have the Texas/Arlington: suburban, Taste of Texas T-bone steak with corn salsa and cole slaw, Fox News, Curt Schilling, chunky Skippy peanut butter, National Rifle Association, Lone Star beer, Wranger jeans, Former Governor George W Bush, big oil, ESPN network radio, hunting dog riding in the bed of a Chevrolet Silverado.

Somewhere in the distance lags the Seattle Mariners, who finished a dismal 29 games behind the American League (AL) West champion Rangers. If the Giants are Wagyu carpaccio and Texas are T-bone steaks, then the lowly Mariners are really no better than chipped beef on toast.

What is chipped beef? the younger set must be wondering. Chipped beef is a dried, salted, paper-thin beef slices that Hormel described as "an air-dried product that is similar to breasola but not as tasty." Old-time military types dubbed creamed chipped beef on toast as "s*** on a shingle."

As you watch the World Series and pine for next year, you might need a snack. In commemoration of the Mariners' 100-game-losing ways, consider chipped beef on toast. Unlike the Mariners' $84 million payroll with minimal results, chipped beef on toast is grotesquely economical and expandable like Stretch Armstrong by Kenner. Maybe next year Seattle will play in the World Series and personify Thundering Hooves Porterhorse steak with frites and stir-fried baby bok choy... but for now the Mariners are chipped beef, Betty Crocker Au Gratin Potatoes and carrot-and-raisin salad.

Creamed chipped beef on toast

• 6 oz. chipped beef, rinsed in cold water;
• ¼ cup butter;
• ¼ cup minced onion;
• 2 tablespoons of flour;
• 2½ cups milk;
• Salt and pepper;
• Chopped English parsley;
• Eight pieces of toast.

Shred beef into small pieces.

Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat. Sauté onion until tender.

Sprinkle flour into butter-and-onion mixture. Stir constantly until roux is smooth for two-to-three minutes.

Gradually add milk to roux until mixture is smooth for five-to-eight minutes.

Add chipped beef, salt and pepper to taste.

Serve on toast... a sour batard, a slice of Wonder Bread or Ener-G gluten-free, brown-rice loaf.