If you hear the fireworks, you know there'll be no peace in the Rainier Valley

Maybe the Fourth of the July isn't your favorite holiday. Familial or social obligations commit you to preparing potato salad and finger Jell-O for a cookout that you'd prefer not to attend.

Or maybe you live near a popular viewing site for the Fourth of July fireworks program, and you resent people sneaking in your background to urinate to relief themselves of beverage indulgence at their cookouts.

Perhaps you bristle when you hear neighbors lighting firecrackers, which are banned in many local municipal jurisdictions.

However much you may dislike the Fourth of July, chances are that your pet despises the pyrotechnics more than you. The stands opened for business today, which means they'll be no peace in the Rainier Valley. Your dog may howl at the loud bangs -- that sometimes last 1 am or 2 am. Some run away in attempt to escape the noise.

The Associated Press offered an article a couple years ago that provided tips to help calm your dog or cat -- and what steps to take if your pet turns up missing during the holidays:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2008021395_pettipsfireworks28.html

If your dog goes missing, contact the local animal shelters:

• Seattle Animal Shelter, (206) 296-7387 (PETS): http://www.seattle.gov/animalshelter/Default.asp
• PAWS in Lynnwood, (425) 787-2500; http://www.paws.org/
• King County Animal Care and Control, (206) 296-0100;
  http://www.kingcounty.gov/safety/animalservices.aspx
• Seattle Humane Society of Seattle/King County, (425) 641-0080; http://www.seattlehumane.org
• Pierce County Animal Control, (253) 798-7387‎ (PETS); http://www.co.pierce.wa.us/pc/abtus/ourorg/aud/animalservices.htm
• Snohomish County Animal Care, (425) 257-6000; http://www1.co.snohomish.wa.us/Departments/Auditor/Divisions/Licensing/Pet/LostOrFoundPets.htm

Dogs love trucks... until they tumble out of the pickup bed

What better way to celebrate the summer than to take your dogs for a spin in your "vintage" or "retro" pickup truck. Our spotter saw you driving your pick-up along Waters Avenue South around 7:30 pm with your golden and Labrador retrievers donning leashes tied to the truck bed. Maybe you were reenacting some childhood memory that you saw on The Waltons or Mayberry RFD.

But you were driving in contemporary Seattle -- as opposed to 1930s Appalachia or 1960s rural North Carolina -- and oblivious to the danger to which you subjected your lovely dogs. Let us be blunt: What the hell are you thinking?

According to the American Medical Veterinary Association (AMVA), 71 percent of 141 professionals surveyed in Massachusetts reported treating a total of 592 dogs that were injured while riding in beds of pickup trucks. While you tied your dogs down to the truck -- as one might secure a load of junk going to the dump -- your retrievers remain subject to the dangers of flying debris, other animals, or breaking their necks if you make a sudden stop or are struck by another vehicle.

Consider one more point: While attempting to locate an accompanying image, the graphics generated through an Internet search were too disturbing for this post.

Keep your dogs in the truck cab when you travel.

http://www.pets911.com/animal-academy/dogs-101/the-dangers-of-letting-dogs-ride-in-the-bed-of-a-truck/

Thumbs down to aggressive dog and the clueless owner at "Gladiator Park"

I learned a new nickname for the Genesee off-leash dog park in the lovely Rainier Valley: "Gladiator Park".

This moniker is no joke, but a characterization by some who view the off-leash area as a place where dogs spar. I recently heard about an incident at the Genesee Dog Park that involved a large, unentered pit bull and its combatants, two dachshunds. All went well as the three dogs played until the pit bull suddenly went after the two tiny dogs. The pit lunged at one of the dachshunds that hid under a bench, and then aggressively chased the other like a hunter pursuing its prey. The owner of the pit could not retain control of her pit, which was not wearing a collar.

Another individual intervened and helped restore order. When this individual asked if the owner planned to neuter the pit, the owner seemed surprised and offended.

Lady, what the hell are you thinking?

Discussions about breed-specific legislation and pit bulls are futile. But dialogues about safety at "Gladiator Park" are fair game. I don't think any pit bull owner would be surprised to know that some experience apprehension when your dog(s) come to the park. Seeing an unentered or non-spayed pit bull sparks genuine fear in people. And when your pit suddenly goes after tiny dogs, and when you can't control your canine in attack mode without assistance... well, that's too damned scary.

Leave the aggressive dog -- regardless of breed -- at home.

Props to Pop: Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day from your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP)!

To consider the plight of fatherhood one need to look no further than to the paternal tale of the actor Bill Bixby (1934 - 1993), venerable TV dad of the early 1970s.

Two decades earlier, Bixby dropped out of the University of California to enlist in the United States Marine Corps (USMC). Following military discharge, Bixby moved to Hollywood where he was "discovered" while working as a model.

Bixby specialized playing lightweight, diffident characters in movies (Clambake, Under the Yum Yum Tree, Speedway) and television (My Favorite Martian). Bixby made an interesting career move when he turned down the role of Marlo Thomas' boyfriend in That Girl in the mid-1960s. (TVLand addicts will tell you that the role went to the sitcom everyman Ted Bessell. Wikipedia reports that when he died in 1996 that Bessell was preparing to direct a feature-length movie of the sitcom Bewitched... and would not have soiled the memory of the venerable series as a vehicle for Will Farrell. But that's another story.) In 1969, Bixby starred in the ABC sitcom The Courtship of Eddie's Father. In contrast to Glenn Ford's portrayal in the 1963 movie -- an uptight widower who was emotionally estranged from his young son (Ronnie Howard) -- Bixby's Tom Corbett was an attentive, sensitive father who enjoyed his son's company and conversations with about the meaning of life while the Nilsson theme song played in the background. ("People, let me tell you about my best friend...")

A carefree bachelor, Bixby reconsidered his positions on marriage and children while filming The Courtship of Eddie's Father. Bixby married Brenda Benet (1945 - 1982), whom he met on the set of his series in 1971. The couple had a son Christopher, born in 1974. The couple divorced in 1980; one year later the couple's only son died after an acute illness. Benet committed suicide in 1982. Bixby remarried twice, but fathered no other children. The actor remained close to his TV son Brandon Cruz until Bixby passed away in 1993.

Granted, Bixby's version of Tom Corbett wore tinted sunglasses, leisure suits and bell-bottom trousers. Yet, he also enjoyed a steak and cocktails. Despite his 1970s mod persona, Tom Corbett probably favored an old-school beverage like the Old Fashioned. If you are spending the holiday with your father, grill him a steak (chicken or fish will have to do if dad eschews red meat) and fix an Old Fashioned (unless dad is a teetotaler or in recovery) in memory of one of TV's beloved single parents, Tom Corbett.

Old Fashioned

2 oz. blended whiskey

1 tsp. water

1 sugar cube

1 dash bitters

1 lemon slice

1 maraschino cherry

1 orange slice

Combine sugar cube, bitters and water into an old fashioned glass. Muddle (mush) contents.

Add blended whiskey and stir.

Add twist of lemon peel and ice cubes.

Garnish with maraschino cherry, orange and lemon slices.

A rare Mariner win and a pitching gem

Two weeks ago, I watched a sorry contest between the Seattle Mariners and the Anaheim-based Angels of Los Angeles at Safeco Field. I left the game disgusted after the opposing team's batters poured on the offense by clubbing the home-team pitchers like mashed plantains for the Puerto Rican side dish mofongo. If I had paid for the tickets, I would've asked for a refund.

So flash forward to the eighteenth where the Mariners and the UW Physicians group handed out 30K bobblehead dolls pairing former Baseball Hall of Fame (HOF) members Ken Griffey Jr. and Ichiro Suzuki. The duo bobbleheads predicted "Copperstown Bound" -- a prediction that it doesn't take the Amazing Kresin to foresee.

But seriously, lefty Cliff Lee pitched a gem of a game for the cellar dwellers. Lee threw a complete-game shutout yielding six hits and striking out seven members of the Cincinnati Reds. One hundred and fifteen pitches... the guy pounded the hard-hitting Reds like mofongo.

Granted, Lee wants to leave by the season's end... ideally, earlier so he can get traded to a contending team (like, maybe the Cincinnati Reds.) Can you blame him? Meanwhile, Lee continues to give 100 percent to a very depressed and unmotivated team of players. Guys who play on auto drive don't hurl shutouts.

We wish you would -- and want to -- stay in Seattle, Cliff. If you leave, that's part of the business aspect of the game. We can only hope that Trader Jack makes a swap that lands some worthy prospects in your place. And please don't sign with the Damn Yankees.

Walk like an Engachon for charity

It isn't as if you have enough Sunday-morning commitments: 9 a.m. mass, preparing a Father's Day brunch, watching the World Cup match between Brazil and the Ivory Coast. For those who love multi-tasking, here's one more activity: the Furry 5K at the Seward Park to benefit animal-welfare functions at the Seattle Animal Shelter (SAS).

The SAS? you might be thinking. The guys who make meanie faces and threaten to take away your dog when the neighbor with the Hummer H3X complains that your Siberian Husky "howls all the time"? The people with badges who make perimeter sweeps 0f the dog park and cite you for licensing issues?

Well, "yes" and "no." The city-operated Seattle Animal Shelter (SAS) has a law-enforcement component with officers who investigate animal-related complaints -- characterized as a "pseudo police authority" by O'Doul the Collie's spokesman Tony of Mount Baker. The Furry 5K, though, benefits the Help the Animals Fund, which finances veterinary care for injured and sick animals at the SAS' Interbay facility.

Event-day registration takes place between 8:15 a.m. and 9:45 a.m. The cost is $30 per person; checks (preferred type of tender) and cash only. While organizers won't guarantee that you'll receive a Furry 5K T-shirt, you can still nab the free dog-food samples.

http://www.furry5k.com

¿qué diablos estaba pensando?

While operating your motor vehicle while texting or failing to use a hands-free device on your phone is a citable offense in the state of Washington, driving with your dog leaning out of the car window remains a crime against common sense.

Our spotter saw you driving southbound on 38th Avenue South near South Spokane Street around quarter after 12 this afternoon. A long-haired chihuahua leaned out of the driver's window as you wheeled your gold-tuned, late 1990s made-in-American sedan through Mount Baker. We couldn't tell if your dog was standing on your lap or some appendage on your interior car door.

What the hell were you thinking?

Your long-haired chihuahua had better pray to God, Buddha, Allah, Krishna... or all of the above... that you regain your good sense to outfit your dog with a car seat or belt when you take the road. Road rash hurts toy breeds as much as it does larger dogs.

We had joy, we had fun... and then we had the 2010 baseball season

Back in April, Seattle Mariners sensed optimism at the start of the 2010 Major League Baseball (MLB) season. Executive Vice President and General Manager "Trader" Jack Zduriencik swapped for former Cy Young winner Cliff Lee and signed free agent Chone Figgins. We re-signed Ken Griffey Jr. and Mike Sweeney. Hell, we unloaded clubhouse malcontent Carlos Silva for Milton Bradley. A few starry-eyed dreamers fantasized about the home team playing in the post season for the first time in nearly a decade.

Then, reality reared its ugly head in the scenario. Divisional rivals Anaheim-based "Los Angeles" Angels swept the Mariners in a pathetic three-game series over the weekend. Seattle is dead last -- and deservedly so -- in the American League West and eight games behind the Texas Rangers.

I attended Sunday's game. Watching the Mariners take a 3-1 lead in the bottom of the first, I dared to think that I might witness an infrequent Seattle victory. Then the Angels fed off Mariner pitchers like semi-professional eaters at the Golden Coral buffet. Hideki Matsui, whom the Mariners deemed as damaged goods and declined to sign, teed off on a Jason Vargas offering like Godzilla through a romp in the Ginza district. The Angels whupped ass in a 9-4 win.

Wak the f***...?

If the Mariners were dogs at Genesee Park (we're the only blog that would put forth such a scenario without substance ingestion), somebody would tighten the leash. Here's hoping that somebody in the Mariners organization reins in the hemp leash.

License to chill

Cash-strapped King County is broke as hell and isn't going to take it anymore. An animal control officers will patrol king county's parks and cite for dog-related infractions, including:

• Failing to license your dog;
• Walking your dog without a leash;
• Failing to pick up and dispose of your pooch's bodily waste; and
• Failing to maintain control of your aggressive or rambunctious dog.

Failure to license the dog costs $75. A citation for violating the leash law is $25 for the first offense and $50 per future offense.

You can bet that animal control officers will be patrolling Redmond's Marymoor off-leash area to catch potential scofflaws. While the Luther Burbank part in Mercer Island, you take your chances when you leave Mercer Island in search for unincorporated King County... a little like Arizona law enforcement officers lying in wait at the Lowe's on East Indian Bend Road in Scotsdale, AZ.

Animal control Officer Friendly is waiting for the scofflaws.

http://www.kingcounty.gov/environment/dnrp/newsroom/newsreleases/2010/june/0601Dog-patrol.aspx

Here's looking at you, Kid: Thanks for the memories, Junior

When Seattle Mariners outfielder Ken Griffey Jr.'s batting average dipped below the infamous "Mendoza line", rumors about retirement swirled like the clubhouse jacuzzi. As Junior called it today, the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) wish to laud the 13-time All Star (10 times for us, three times for "them", aka Cincinnati) for the Hall of Fame (HOF) memories.

Unlike former teammate Edgar Martinez, Junior is a no-brainer to receive 90 percent of the votes of the Baseball Writers Association of America (BBWWA) in the first year of eligibility. Consider Junior's career stats: .284 batting average, 2,781 hits; 630 home runs; 1,836 runs batted in; 10 gold gloves; 1997 American League Most Valuable Player (MVP); and 1992 All-Star game MVP. Consider also the balloting of first-time nominees: Cal Ripken Jr. (98.5 percent in 2007), Tony Gwynn (97.5 percent in 2007), Rickey Henderson (94.8 percent in 2009), Wade Boggs (91.9 percent in 2005), Paul Molitor (85.2 percent) and Dennis Eckersley (83.2 percent in 2004). The DDGP will lobby in Junior's behalf, but he won't need our blogging influence.

We were at the game in 1990 in which Ken Griffey Sr. and Junior became the first father-and-son combo to hit back-to-back home runs. In 1995, we watched in horror when Junior collided with the Kingdome center field wall to save a run -- and broke both bones in his wrist. Four years later, we watched from the nosebleed seats as Junior tore around the bases to score the winning run in Game 5 of the American League Divisional Series. After Junior left for Cincinnati after the 1999 season, we sat in right field eight years later and yelled. "Come back!" when the Reds played at Safeco.

The fans will remember the carefree, backwards-wearing-cap outfielder who, if characterized as a Genesee Park dog, would probably be a boxer... athletic and playful, the perpetual puppy. When Junior aged, so did we.

Cynics and haters be damned: Junior, we'll miss you. And we'll continue our membership at the Baseball HOF so we can attend the Cooperstown ceremony in 2016, and witness your much-deserved induction.

A graduation message from O'Doul the Collie that doesn't involve a future in plastics

With commencement ceremonies in full swing, the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) solicited words of wisdom from Weather Prognosticator/Labor Spokesdog O'Doul the Collie.

However, Mount Baker resident Tony -- O'Doul's spokesperson -- said the chatty collie chose to address only the graduates of canine obedience classes.

"Only pay attention to what humans say when it's in your interest," O'Doul advised. "Reference NOAA (his friends at the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration) and not the guy on the boat."

According to Tony, O'Doul "isn't cynical, he's realistic. He's a college drop-out, a working-class intellectual." From which college did O'Doul withdraw? "The college of hard knocks," Tony predictably replied.

And as far you human graduates are concerned? Whether you graduated from Rainier Beach High School High School, Bellevue (Community) College, Culinary Arts Management program from the Seattle Art Institute, University of Washington at Bothell or, hell, the University of Phoenix online program... you folks are on your own.