What do dogs give up for Lent?

With Lent in full swing, Christians are practicing penance by forsaking food or other activities until the Ninth Hour of Great Thursday (three days before Easter).

Practicing humans "give up" cherished items, such as red meat, caffeinated beverages, or chocolate. Others forsake activities such as surfing the Internet, playing video games, or... well, you get the idea. (Wouldn't be nice if the so-called "elite" cyclists gave up using Lake Washington Boulevard as their training area for Lent?)

Question: What do dogs give up for Lent? Here are some suggestions:

• Australian cattle dogs and shepherds: Herding. As Oprah says, go outside the box. Try being the herdee.
• Bassett hounds, beagles, bloodhounds, et al.: Baying. Try talking with your hands.
• Chihuahuas, Yorkshire terriers and other purse dogs: Your Burberry, Coach, and Louis Vuitton carriers. Try walking. God gave you four legs for a reason.
• Cordigan and Welsh corgis: Nipping at the heels. Try being leader of the pack for a change.
• Field and springer spaniels, pointers, Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retrievers: Fowl. For a moment, we lost our senses and considered suggesting pork, "the other white meat." Try fish on Friday... or soy-based proteins.
• Labrador and golden retrievers: Tennis balls and Frisbees. Don't rely on Wilson, Penn and Wham-O as your means of entertainment.
• Poodles: Grooming services. Try alternate styles or hair-care products like Afro Sheen or Brylcreem. A little dab'll do ya.
• Parson Russell, rat terriers, et. al.: Hyperactivity. Take it down a notch. As the Chairman of the Board said, "Nice and easy does it every time."

Money money money for charity

Last year, we said we'd stop harassing our readers -- all nine of them -- to cough up their money for charity.

That was 2009. This is 2010.

If you've been watching the Westminster Kennel Club (WKC) Dog Show, you've undoubtedly seen the advertisements for the Pedigree Foundation, a 501(c)(3) philanthropic organization dedicated to finding "forever homes" for dogs in need. The Pedigree Foundation will match your donor's gifts dollar-to-dollar up to $500K. Do the math: That's $500K from us who are diverting our beer money and $500K from Pedigree. Whatta deal.

http://www.pedigree.com/03Adoption/?CID=WKC

Tonight's WKC Dog Show broadcast includes the Best of Show competition at the evening's end. It's counter programming to NBC's tape-delayed, "live" coverage of the Winter Olympics. True to form, NBC is stockpiling the "marquee events" for prime-time Olympics coverage from 8 pm to midnight. We on the West Coast have to wait until 8 pm to see what our friends in Trenton, NJ, Raleigh, NC, or Meriden, CT saw three hours earlier. So the downhill and snowboard competitions that took place earlier in the day -- and whose results have been posted online for several hours earlier -- don't air until 10 or 11 pm. Aspiring Dorothy Hamills or Kristi Yamaguchis with normal bedtimes don't get to watch their idols skate for the gold.

And do you really want to go to bed with Bob Costas, aka "Mr. Know-It-All"? Maybe 20 years ago when he was a hip, clever sports announcer and quirky late-night, talk-show host... as opposed to the smug and smarmy media celebrity that he has become.

We never understood NBC's broadcast strategy. Yes, they "save" the high-ticket events to run against broadcasts of Grey's Anatomy, CSI Miami, American Idol, and Gossip Girl. But an intrepid online surfer can watch a video of an Olympic event hours before NBC's broadcast. If this were the 1970s, NBC would tape delay the Watergate hearings for broadcast opposite Love, American Style, All in the Family, and Mannix. If NBC had broadcast rights to the Masters Tournament, we'd be watching the green jacket ceremony at 11:40 pm.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Happy Mardi Gras from your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP)! French for "Fat Tuesday", Mardi Gras represents the celebration between the Epiphany and Ash Wednesday. It's booze, beads and

Americans first celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans on March 3, 1699. Official parade organizations -- starting with the Mystick Krewe of Comus in 1856 and the Krewe of Rex in 1872. (The Free Dictionary defines "krewe" as "groups with hereditary membership whose members organize and participate as costumed paraders in the annual Mardi Gras carnival.")

Here in Seattle, our Fat Tuesday celebration has evolved to a "family friendly" event... "safe and sane" debauchery, a true oxymoron.

If you aren't inclined to step out to Pioneer Square to hang out with the family-oriented celebrants, stay home with your dog and celebrate with a package of Zatarain's jambalaya and batch of Hurricanes:

Traditional Hurricane Recipe

• 2 oz light rum
• 2 oz dark rum
• 2 oz passion fruit juice
• 1 oz orange juice
• ½ oz fresh lime juice
• 1 tablespoon simple syrup
• 1 tablespoon grenadine
• Garnish: orange slice and cherry

Shake all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and strain into a Hurricane glass filled with ice. Garnish with a cherry and an orange slice.

Party on, Wayne.

Program alert: Westminster Kennel Club competition

Smithers, release the hounds. And the terriers, sporting group, working group, herding group...

"America's Dog Show" - the Westminster Kennel Club (WKC) 2010 competition - is Wimbledon, World Series and Super Bowl of its sport. Give a card-carrying member of the Professional Golf Association (PGA) a choice: Would you rather win the Bob Hope Pro-Am Classic, Velera Texas Open, ATT National Championship and World Golf Championships-Bridgestone International... or the Master's Tournament in Augusta? Westminster is Augusta in April. If you compete in the dog-show circuit, you want "Best in Show" at Westminster the way that K.J. Choi or Rocco Mediate wants the elusive green jacket.

Watching Westminster on the telly is a viewing challenge not unlike catching the marquee events of the Olympics without having to sit through curling, ice dancing or the 30-meter cross-country race. Or monologues from NBC host Bob Coastas, aka "Mr. Know-It-All."

Monday, February 15

Hound, toy, non-sporting and herding groups

8 PM to 9 PM (EDT) on the USA Network

9 PM to 11 PM (EDT) on CNBC

Tuesday, February 16

Sporting, working, and terrier groups plus Best in Show

8 PM to 11 PM (EDT) on USA Network

http://www.westminsterkennelclub.org/aboutwkc/amshow.html

Happy Lunar New Year!

Gung Hay Fat Choy from your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park!

The Chinese New Year greeting translates as "wishing you prosperity and wealth". Based on the economy, the good wishes didn't come true in 2009. Or 2010. Here's hoping the the Year of the Tiger marks a change in the trend.

Chinese New Year boasts its unique set of traditions and customs:

• Clean the entire house and remove remnants of the outgoing year;
• Pay all debts;
• Make amends with your family members, friends, neighbors and work associates;
• Open every door and window in your home at midnight to let go of the old year.

On New Year's Day, celebrants are encouraged not to wash their hair, sweep the floor, drop your chopsticks, lend or borrow money.

If you don't have a Chinese New Year's banquet to attend, you can always resort to Panda Express, Magic Dragon or Safeway takeout. (Sorry, teriyaki originated in Japan where people celebrate New Year's on January 1.) And if you hear snap, crackle and pop in the night, chances are that the noises emulate from your neighbors celebrating New Years with fireworks... and not shots fired.

Preparing for the NFL Sign of the Apocalypse: Do they make MREs for mastiffs?

If you have bought into the NFL Signs of the Apocalypse, the Super Bowl victory by the New Orleans Saints has you preparing for The End of the World as We Know It.

While you begin stockpiling canned foods, precious metals and bottled water, remember to prepare a survival package for your best friend. Do you really think that Preston the Puggle will eat the 400-calorie, tropical-fruit energy bar? Turkey tetrazzini Meals Ready to Eat (MRE)? Freeze-dried beef stroganoff? Gotta love that five-year shelf life!

The King County Office of Emergency Management promotes an ongoing "3 Days 3 Ways" preparedness plan that includes our canine friends. The emergency kit should include:

• Minimum three days worth of food and water;
• Leash and collar, or suitable carrier for transport;
• Medications and medical records;
• Current photograph in the event that you and your dog are separated;
• Identification tag with current information;
• Optional tennis balls, rubber Cuz toys, and peanut-butter filled Kong

For more information, check out King County's Office of Emergency Management.

http://www.govlink.org/3days3ways/pets.html

By the way, congratulations to the Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints. Your victory may suggest the permanent freeze of purgatory, but we can't wait to see how your great city celebrates. Drink a couple of Hurricanes for us.

Program alert: AKC National Championship on Saturday, February 6

Saturday night's broadcast of the American Kennel Club (AKC) National Championship is the final competition to air before the Westminster Kennel Club (WKC) Dog Show later this month. The AKC Championship winner takes home a trophy the size of Cincinnati and a $50K prize. Fifty grand wouldn't have covered Pete Rose's gambling debts in the past two decades, but it could buy a crate full of certificate-of-authenticity Johnny Bench, Joe Morgan and Cesar Geromino autographs. Fifty 'K' is Big Money in the dog-show circuit.

Catch this precursor to the WKC show... or would you rather be lit up and smoked down this Saturday night? Your choice.

The AKC/Eukanuba National Championship airs Saturday, February 6 from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. on Animal Planet.

http://animal.discovery.com/convergence/eukanuba/akcchampionship/about/about.html

It's January in Seattle, so it must be shorts weather...

The schizophrenic weather pattern in January 2010 likely had some doubters questioning the climate prognostications of O'Doul the Collie, the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park's (DDGP) resident meteorologist. String together four days when the thermometer topped the mid-50s, and some are want the collie to surrender his credentials to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), which predicted a mild El Niño winter.

Not so fast, homes. Maybe you dug out the cotton-twill cargo shorts and Birkenstocks when he mercury rose to 59 degrees on January 18 and 60 degrees the following day. You planted bulbs in shirtsleeves and popped the sunroof on the Passat. And you mocked the collie.

Earlier in the month, though, you were probably wearing plastic boots and duck shoes. Nearly an inch of rain fell on January 4. Four days later, the Seattle area collected 0.81 inches of rain. One week later, 1.07 inches of wetness hit the local ground.

Perhaps the worst of the winter is behind us. O'Doul's owner Tony estimates that the winter shedding of the collie's coat is 85 percent complete. Maybe it's safe to stow away the Gore-Tex parka. But the prudent may also hold off on the all-shorts-all-the-time wardrobe until next month. Even in Seattle.