San Francisco takes a Giant step... and Seattle remains stuck in first gear

Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants: the Wagyu carpaccio of this year's post-season competition... and the 2010 World Champions.

At first blush, the Giants and Seattle Mariners appear dissimilar in style. Compiling a 88-74 record in 2009, the Giants finished a disappointing three games from a wild-card berth and seven games out of the division title. Finishing 12 games out of the division title in 2009, the Mariners appeared absolutely giddy with a 85-77 record. The Mariners pulled off a high-profile, three-way trade with Philadelphia and Toronto to land Lee, the 2008 Cy Young winner. The Giants formed a roster of self-described "misfits" and "castaways".

Like the stay-at-home-in-October Mariners, the Giants lacked a bona-fide slugger, a la Albert Pujols, Joey Votto or Josh Hamilton. Unlike the Mariners, the Giants battery came through in the clutch and stripped Texas Rangers ace Cliff Lee -- the guy whose acquisition was suppose to secure Seattle's way to the postseason -- of the "S' on his chest and red cape... and rendered him vulnerable and hittable in a Jason Vargas fashion. The players of the ball club on the Bay earned World Series bling -- and the guys on the team on the Sound watched the Series on their plasma televisions in the comfort of their respective media rooms.

Imagine what the Giants could have done with Ichiro Suzuki and Felix Hernandez on the payroll.

Imagine what the Mariners might have achieved with Lee and Tim Lincecum -- the University of Washington pitching star spurned for Brandon Morrow in the 2006 Major League Baseball (MLB) draft -- on the roster.

While the Giants have earned Dom Perignon to accompany the Wagyu carpaccio they emulate, the Mariners deserve the "two buck Chuck" to polish off the chipped beef on toast that they resembled this year. The cynical amongst us suspect our home team's prospects won't change until the Mariner ownership deep sixes Chief Executive Officer Howard Lincoln and President Chuck Armstrong.

It's World Series time: What's your beef?

It's four days from Halloween so in the wacky timetable of Major League Baseball (MLB), it must be the start of the World Series.

Pitting the San Francisco Giants against the Texas Rangers, the 2010 World Series characterizes the blue-versus-red-state, liberal-versus-conservative conflict at its best. On one hand, you have the San Francisco: inner-city, Wagyu carpaccio with grilled blue corn cakes and tossed arugula, MSNBC, Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Woodstock Farms organic peanut butter, Free Tibet, Anchor Steam, Levi 501s, Former Governor Jerry Brown (and maybe future governor in January), alternative energy sources, National Public Radio, Puggle riding in a doggie car seat in a Prius. On the other hand, you have the Texas/Arlington: suburban, Taste of Texas T-bone steak with corn salsa and cole slaw, Fox News, Curt Schilling, chunky Skippy peanut butter, National Rifle Association, Lone Star beer, Wranger jeans, Former Governor George W Bush, big oil, ESPN network radio, hunting dog riding in the bed of a Chevrolet Silverado.

Somewhere in the distance lags the Seattle Mariners, who finished a dismal 29 games behind the American League (AL) West champion Rangers. If the Giants are Wagyu carpaccio and Texas are T-bone steaks, then the lowly Mariners are really no better than chipped beef on toast.

What is chipped beef? the younger set must be wondering. Chipped beef is a dried, salted, paper-thin beef slices that Hormel described as "an air-dried product that is similar to breasola but not as tasty." Old-time military types dubbed creamed chipped beef on toast as "s*** on a shingle."

As you watch the World Series and pine for next year, you might need a snack. In commemoration of the Mariners' 100-game-losing ways, consider chipped beef on toast. Unlike the Mariners' $84 million payroll with minimal results, chipped beef on toast is grotesquely economical and expandable like Stretch Armstrong by Kenner. Maybe next year Seattle will play in the World Series and personify Thundering Hooves Porterhorse steak with frites and stir-fried baby bok choy... but for now the Mariners are chipped beef, Betty Crocker Au Gratin Potatoes and carrot-and-raisin salad.

Creamed chipped beef on toast

• 6 oz. chipped beef, rinsed in cold water;
• ¼ cup butter;
• ¼ cup minced onion;
• 2 tablespoons of flour;
• 2½ cups milk;
• Salt and pepper;
• Chopped English parsley;
• Eight pieces of toast.

Shred beef into small pieces.

Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat. Sauté onion until tender.

Sprinkle flour into butter-and-onion mixture. Stir constantly until roux is smooth for two-to-three minutes.

Gradually add milk to roux until mixture is smooth for five-to-eight minutes.

Add chipped beef, salt and pepper to taste.

Serve on toast... a sour batard, a slice of Wonder Bread or Ener-G gluten-free, brown-rice loaf.

Former Mariner ace Cliff Lee kicks Yankee butt while Howie and Chuckie chase their tails

Watching former Seattle Mariners ace Cliff Lee put the New York Yankees down like rabid animals had to hurt any baseball fan in the Jet City. Lee, the stud who was suppose to take Seattle to post-season glory this season, pitched eight scoreless innings and fanned 13 Damned Yankees for the team that bestowed us with Justin Smoak and Josh Lueke.

That coulda been us, Mariners fans thought to themselves Monday evening while weeping into their micro brews. We coulda been contenders instead of 100-game losers, which we, alas, are again. Stupid reality and Mariner management mismanagement ensured us that 2010 was another 2008, 2006, 2005 and 2004. Notice that 2004, 2005, 2006, 2008 and 2010 fell under the watch of Seattle Mariners Chief Executive Officer Howard "Howie" Lincoln and President Chuck "Chuckie" Armstrong.

While Lee shut down Yankee batters, the Howie and Chuckie Show introduced its newest addition to the managerial merry-go-round by introducing former Cleveland Indians skipper Eric Wedge as replacement for Don Wakamatsu and Darren Brown.

Will the change in leadership make a difference next year? Only if Mariners owner Minoru Arakawa of Nintendo takes mercy upon long-suffering fans and pulls the plug on the wearisome Howie and Chuckie Show. That dynamic duo blew millions of Nintendo dollars... and gave us Jeff Cirillo, Rick Aurilla, Scott Spiezio, Richie Sexson, Aaron Sele, Jarrod Washburn, Pokey Reese, Carl "I Don't Believe in Dinosaurs" Everett. Kenji Jojima, José Guillen, José Vidro, Horacio Ramirez, Carlos Silva, Miguel Batista and Erik Bedard. The Mariners couldn't hang on to a fortysomething Jamie Moyer, who saw the exit sign at Safeco and bolted.

And don't fool yourself by thinking that the Mariners could have changed their fortunes if they had drafted Tim Lincecum -- and not Brandon Morrow -- in the 2006 MLB draft. Had they signed him, the Mariners would've messed with Lincecum's head and arm as they did with Morrow... and baseball's favorite Freak would be an afterthought in the organization.

The Texas Rangers could escape what Charles Barkley called "the s*** list" of athletes and teams that cannot win The Big One -- here, being an American or National League title. If the Texas Rangers play in the World Series this year, only the Mariners and Washington Nationals emerge as Major League Baseball (MLB) clubs that never competed in the Fall Classic.

At the outset of 2002 -- the first season of the Howie and Chuckie Show -- seven MLB organizations never reached the World Series. Gradually, California/Anaheim/Los Angeles (2002), Houston (2005), Colorado (2007) and Tampa Bay (2008) captured their respective league pennants. It's 2010, and the Mariners appear no closer to the goal of playing in the Fall Classic than they did eight years and tens of millions of dollars ago.

With Howie and Chuckie running the show the Mariners deserve to remain as the last World Series virgin. We'll see the Mariners playing live in November only if Howie and Chuckie hit the road.

Seattle Mariners: You're gonna lose your fans (yes, yes, you're gonna lose your fans... if they haven't already abandoned ship)

How pathetic was the 2010 Seattle Mariners 62-100 season?

Dismal enough that less than 20K people showed up for the Fan Appreciation game Friday night. After Thursday's double whammy -- the team's decision to keep ace Felix Hernandez out for the rest of the season followed by a sorry 8-1 defeat -- Seattle baseball fans couldn't be persuaded to attend a game with random drawings for autographed memorabilia, Opening Day 2011 passes, plane tickets, gas cards, "and much, much more."

Back in the day, losing Mariners teams could draw 40,000 people who were willing to sit through a miserable ballgame for the chance to go home with a Rich Amaral jersey or a $50 Bon Marché card. But 2010 fans couldn't be lured with the prospect of winning an Ichiro bat or a 42-inch, flat-screen television.

Can you blame the disheartened? We embraced the Major League Baseball (MLB) season this spring with foolish optimism. A few cockeyed optimists envisioned the home team winning the American League (AL) West pennant. Aside from the standout performances of pitcher Felix Hernandez (232 strikeouts, 2.27 ERA, 1.057) and right fielder Ichiro Suzuki (214 hits, .315 average, 41 stolen bases), the ball club played more like Major Barbara than Major League. General Manager "Trader" Jack Zduriencik committed a public relations gaffe -- unnoticed by the mainstream media -- when he fired former manager Don Wakamatsu, the first Asian-American to skipper a MLB club, prior to Japanese Heritage Night.

Now that the blame game begins, we point our fingers at any number of suspects: Zduriencik, who couldn't make one correct personnel move this season; Wakamatsu and his cerebral soft-sell style (42-70); not-ready-for-primetime replacement manager Darren Brown (19-32); (future Hall of Famer (HOFer) Ken Griffey Jr. (.184, 9 RBIs in 98 at-bats); likable but losing-prone Ryan Rowland-Smith (1-10, 6.75 ERA in 19 starts); misunderstood misanthrope Milton Bradley (.205, 8 home runs, 8 stolen bases); weak-hitting first baseman Casey Kotchman (.217, 9 HRs, 51 RBIs); and a catching platoon of Rob Johnson and Adam Moore that batted below .200.

The Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) holds the higher powers of the team accountable. Chief Executive Officer Howard Lincoln and President Chuck Armstrong have enjoyed hands-off ownership and bottomless Nintendo dollars to forge a championship team for the better part of a decade. Their corporate style reportedly drove away Lou Pinella -- and gave us Bob Melvin, Mike Hargrove, John McLarren, Jim Riggleman, Wakamatsu and Brown in roughly the shelf life of CSI Miami or The Dr. Phil Show. This dynamic duo spent $84 million on a team that lost 100 games this year. Retaining Lincoln and Armstrong goes against all logic and principles of corporate accountability and responsibility... yet, this duo keep their jobs. Go figure.

This year's team would drive almost anyone to drink. However, the magnitude of this year's failure warrants more than a vodka-nuanced cocktail. Here, hard liquor is in order -- straight out of the bottle, in a glass only if absolutely necessary. As drinking on an empty stomach is a recipe for disaster, hors d'oeuvres are in order. Something salty, savoury and sweet...like rumaki. Although the etiology of this appetizer is unknown, old-school foodies credit Victor Bergeron -- founder of the Polynesian-inspired Trader Vic's restaurants -- for creating rumaki, an hors d'oeuvre of chicken liver and water chestnut wrapped around a strip of bacon. Organ meats aren't for everybody. But for masochists who endured the 2010 season, chicken liver and bacon seems preferable to another Mariners whiffing contest involving Michael Saunders, Ryan Langerhans, and Josh Bard.

For the moment: Trader Vic, good. Trader Jack, not so much.

Rumaki

• 12 slices of bacon cut in half lengthwise
• 12 ounces of halved chicken livers
• 12 whole water chestnuts cut in half

Marinade

• ¼ cup of soy sauce
• 1 teaspoon minced ginger
• 2 tablespoons dry sherry
• 1 teaspoon sugar

Make marinade by combining the soy sauce, minced ginger, dry sherry and sugar. Add chicken livers and water chestnuts to the mixture. Marinate for half an hour.

Wrap half a bacon slice around pieces of chicken liver and water chestnut. Secure with toothpick.

If you are drawn to broiling your appetizers, place the rumaki on a shallow baking or broiling pan about five-to-six inches from the heat source. Broil for 10-to-15 minutes until the bacon is crisp.

If you prefer easy baking, put rumaki in 375-degree oven for 20-to-25 minutes.

Epilogue: If the so-called Mariner brain trust continues to field losing teams, they'd better up the ante for Fan Appreciation Night. How much do you really value your shrinking base of fans? The small-money, 57-105 Pittsburgh Pirates gave away a flat-screen television and a Blu-Ray player (as opposed to cash-rich Mariners, which meted out the TV and Blu-Ray player separately). The 69-93 Washington Nationals rewarded their long-suffering base with a "fan appreciation month" of giveaways spread out over the final 16 games. The Milwaukee Brewers, who sported a 77-85 record this year, bestowed a Brewers-themed, custom-painted, 2010 Harley-Davidson Fat Boy Lo on one lucky fan. Better yet, Mariners management, take a page from the Oprah book: "You get an eZee bike, you get an eZee bike, and you get an eZee bike..."

The hit streak continues... join the parade and celebrate with a Saketini

Seattle Mariners right fielder Ichiro Suzuki today salvaged an otherwise dismal 2010 by tying a Major League Baseball (MLB) record with 10 200-hit seasons. The other record holder is an unrepentant gambler named Pete Edward Rose.

How significant is this record? Consider that over Ichiro is 10-for-10 in accruing a minimum 200 hits per year. Also, consider that Rose -- MLB's most prolific hitter (4,256 hits over 24 seasons) -- enjoyed two streaks of three 200-hit seasons that spanned from 1968-1970 and 1975-1977.

Damned Yankee Derek Jeter, who will amass Hit 3K next season and could overtake Rose as the all-time leader, enjoyed seven 200-hit seasons from 1995 to 2010. Jeter scratched out two three-consecutive seasons in which he compiled a minimum 200 hits (1998-2000, 2005-2007). Want more numerical perspective? Hall of Famer (HOFer) Henry Aaron, currently ranked third amongst MLB all-time hits leaders, compiled only two 200-hit seasons in his 23-year career. "Mr. Padre", aka HOFer Tony Gwynn and Captain Video, accrued 3,141 hits in a career that included five 200-hit seasons. HOFer Wade Boggs, a classic lead-off hitter, put together a streak of seven 200-hit seasons (1983-1989), made it to 3,000 with 10 to spare. "Captain" Carl Yastrzemski, Red Sox HOFer ranked eighth in the MLB hit parade, never amassed 200 hits during his 23-year career.

Meanwhile, Ichiro's next 200-hit season will establish a new MLB mark.

Seattle fans this season had little to celebrate this year. Full of foolish and misguided optimism, the Mariners began 2010 with Great Expectations of the American League (AL) West pennant and post-season competition. In June the proverbial wheels had fallen off the cart and we began hearing refrains of Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September's Over." By Labor Day we find ourselves dreading another 100-loss year. Ichiro indicated this summer that he's "depressed". We're supposed the Mariners organization isn't stocking the clubhouse candy machines with Prozac and Wellbutrin.

Word in the organization is that Ichiro does not imbibe -- and that his temperance tendencies fueled a chilly relationship with former Mariners reliever and hooch hound Kazuhiro Sasaki. But don't let Ichiro's disinclination to drink stop you from celebrating with a cocktail.

Seattle Saketini

• 2½ oz. vodka
• ½ oz. sake
• Cucumber curl

Pour vodka and sake into ice-filled shaker.

Shake.

Strain liquids into cocktail glass.

Garnish with cucumber curl.

We wonder -- and worry -- how much longer Ichiro will stay in Seattle. Ichiro's contract ostensibly keeps him in Seattle through 2012... or roughly career hit number 2,600. Ichiro reported consulted his Shiba Inu Ikkyu before agreeing to a contract extension in 2007. Providing his counsel, Ikkyu reportedly advised, "Ruff, ruff, ruff." Ichiro translated the guidance as "sign, sign, sign."

If Ikkyu could advise Ichiro to hold off on swinging at the first pitch...

Wak the f***? Donny, we hardly knew ye

Seafair weekend's two-game winning streak -- albeit, against the Kansas City Royals -- wasn't enough to save his job. When the Seattle Mariners' 2010 season plunged into the cesspool of the American League West division, the media rumbled with rumors of the demise of Manager Don Wakamatsu. But Mariners General Manager "Trader" Jack Zduriencik maintained that Wakamatsu remained his man.

Today, with the ball club 22½ games behind the division-leading Texas Rangers, Trader Jack delivered what should not have been a surprising message: Jetson, you're fired!

Wak the f***?

We're not disputing that Wakamatsu needed to go. His reserved, cerebral, zen style didn't befit a losing team that needed its butt kicked from the Rainier Valley to Issaquah and back. Wakamatsu couldn't motivate his players, and showed all the fire and passion of a Bic lighter during the Hanukkah Eve windstorm.

But the timing of Wakamatsu's departure is ironic to say the least. The Mariners celebrate Japanese Heritage Night during against the Oakland Athletics this evening. Major League Baseball's first Asian-American manager will be missing in action as the half-Japanese Wakamatsu will have cleaned out his office before the first pitch.

Wak the f***?

If Wakamatsu was slated to go, shouldn't the Mariners have fired him after Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday's loss?

Using the "Seattle Mariners as Genesee Park dogs" analogy, Wakamatsu would be the Mastiff -- an intelligent, reserved working breed who couldn't lead a Labrador retriever to a wading pool.

We told you that the label "Wak the f***?" had a short shelf life.

Soy une perdedor... this year's model plays like it's 1977

Saturday's loss against the Minnesota Twins minted this year's version of the Seattle Mariners as one of the worst teams in franchise history. Sporting a 6-22 record for July 2010, the MMX Mariners now share the worst-month record with the inaugural-season MCMLXXVII ball club. In August, the 1977 club went 6-22.

What have Seattle Mariners fan done to deserve such a fate? Management realized in June that was too late to salvage this season. So they traded away ace Cliff Lee for Justin Smoak, a 23 year-old first baseman who wasn't batting his weight (220 pounds) before he was sent down to Tacoma. Maybe Smoak might emerge as the next Albert Pujols, but right now the young prospect is keeping residence in Pierce County.

Then the proverbial wheels fell off the cart when Ryan Rowland-Smith, the popular and likable Australian southpaw, surrendered 11 earned runs and 11 hits in five innings in last week's Chicago beat down. The team later placed Rowland-Smith on the 15-day disabled list because of low-back strain, which probably explained why the southpaw tanked in MMX. We love the guy's retro-style glasses and his ability to bounce back from injury last year. But his 1-10 record and 6.96 ERA more befitted the Mariners team during the Jimmy Carter Administration.

So, it's August and the organization that doled out $83 million on player salaries is 22½ games behind the Texas Rangers in the American League Worst. We don't oppose spending money to win a championship -- you gotta pay to play. This isn't 1953, thank God.

Now, some of our worldwide readers are undoubtedly wondering why a blog about dog parks devotes an undue amount of time and energy on baseball. The way we see it, there's plenty of time and opportunity to pontificate about off-leash dog parks. However, one suspects that the label (tagline) "Wak the f***" will soon become passé.

Woof, woof, woof at the old ballgame (in Everett)

It's one thing to take your dog to the Genesee off-leash park. It's another thing, though, to take your pooch to the ballgame.

If taking your dog to a professional baseball game is on your bucket list, here's an opportunity to cross off another to-do item. The Everett AquaSox will take on the Vancouver Canadians at a "dog friendly ballgame" at Everett Memorial on Tuesday, August 3.

Imagine sharing hot dogs, peanuts and Cracker Jacks with your furry friend. We won't go as far as to suggest that you and Precious the Schipperke won't care if you ever get back to the Lovely Rainier Valley... after all, you will be spending the evening in Everett.

If you go stag, you can visit the Seattle Humane Society's MaxMobile™, a "bright yellow, 33-foot, custom-built mobile adoption and education center."

Initially, we wondered why the Seattle Mariners weren't scheduling a "Bark in the Park" game at Safeco Field. Shouldn't our dogs enjoy the national pastime as do their canine counterparts in Atlanta, Chicago (US Cellular Field), Cincinnati, Houston, Oakland, New York (Citi Field), San Francisco and Texas? Isn't Seattle reputed as a dog-friendly town?

Then we remembered that we'd be subjecting our dogs to watching the Seattle Mariners, who have compiled a 6-21 record for July. A "Bark in the Park" promotion at Safeco might constitute animal cruelty. Somebody would turn us in to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA).

However, taking your dog to see the AquaSox is an entirely different matter.

http://www.seattlehumane.org/explore/events/benefitevents

Sweet Lou's Baadassss Swan Song

Break out the gold watch for former Seattle Mariners manager Lou Piniella announced this week that he will retire at the end of the 2010 season.

Baseball fans -- and particularly the Wrigley Field faithful -- saw the end coming. The Chicago Cubs are 11 games out of first place in the competitive National League Central Division. Frustrated by four years of underachieving, Piniella said, "I don't want to lose. I don't think that anybody does. But what am I going to do, jump off the Hancock Building?"

If Piniella were a Genesee Park dog, he'd be a fiesty Dog de Bourdeaux (aka French Mastiff) popularized by Turner and Hooch, the 1989 comedy that Tom Hanks would prefer that you forgot. Piniella as a Genesee Park dog would be the large, sturdy, imposing and quick-tempered yard dog You'd never know whether his bark outmatched his bite.

Seattle denizens are well aware with Piniella's successes and disappointments. In 1993, Piniella took a team that lost 98 games the year before and transformed them into a .500 ball club -- the first winning season for the Mariners. Two years later, Piniella sat at the helm of the "Refuse to Lose" team that defeated the California Angels in a one-game playoff for the American League (AL) Worst division, and spanked the Damn Yankees by winning three-straight contests in the five-game divisional series. We didn't seem to mind that the Refuse-to-Lose group lost the AL title to the Cleveland Indians -- the home team gave us more than we could have expected.

Then, the Piniella-led teams were crushed by the Great Expectations created by a roster of future Baseball Hall of Famers (HOF) (Ken Griffey Jr., Randy Johnson, Alex Rodriguez, Ichiro Suzuki) and serious HOF contenders (Edgar Martinez and Jamie Moyer). The Mariners' Attempted Murderers' Row -- Griffey, Edgar, A-Rod and Jay Buhner -- batted .203 (a humiliating 13-for-64) against Baltimore Orioles pitching in the 1997 divisional playoffs. The Mariners were lucky not to have been swept in the four-game series. The Y2K Mariners lost to the Damn Yankees four-games-to-two in the 2000 league championship.

And then there was the 2001 team that provided the bitterest pill to swallow. Eight Mariners (Ichiro, Garcia, Edgar, Brett Boone, John Olerud, Mike Cameron, Jeff Nelson and Kazuhiro Sasaki) made the AL All-Star roster at mid-season game at Safeco Field. Seattle won a major-league record 116 games during the regular season. And then the team faced the nemesis of post-season competition. Could you smell the destiny in the air? The club of destiny needed five teams to dispense with the Cleveland Indians... and then folded to the Damn Yankees in five games in the league championship.

Piniella stuck around for one more season. And the Mariners never returned to post-season play.

We wish you well, Lou in your "retirement", although one wonders whether you are really through with baseball. We appreciated the good times. You won a World Series title for Hitler admirer Marge Schott... we wish you could have taken us to one Fall Classic.

How can you laugh when you know Ichiro's down?

Ichiro says he's "depressed" -- and who can blame him? Local Seattle Mariners fans -- including those of us with Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) -- harbored Great Expectations for the ball club this season. General Manager "Trader" Jack Zduriencik traded for former Cy Young winner Cliff Lee and signed free agent acquisition Chonne Figgins. Hell, we swapped one malcontent (pitcher Carlos Silva) for another (Milton Bradley).

The über optimists amongst us envisioned a possible playoff berth for the home team. And then the roof fell in. The Mariners declined to sign slugging first baseman Russell Bryanan, and instead traded for light-hitting Casey Kotchman. Then, the bullpen fell apart. The Mariners are an appalling 18 games behind the Texas Rangers the division leaders of the American League (AL) Worst... er, AL West.. God help us if the hapless Rangers escape the S*** List of Major League Baseball (MLB) clubs that never played in the World Series (the only being the Washington Nationals).

Wak the f***?

Is it any wonder that Ichiro is "depressed"? The All-Star right fielder is hitting .312 -- almost 100 points of No. 2 hitter Figgins (.229). Ichiro's .312 for the last-place Mariners is more like .362 on a winning team. Imagine Ichiro's stats if he were hitting ahead of Carl Crawford (.314), Nick Swisher (.303), and Mike Young (.299). At age 36, Ichiro has to be wondering if he's stuck on a hard-luck franchise whose stars (Edgar Martinez, Jay Buhner, Ken Griffey Jr.) never played in the Fall Classic. Tino Martinez (1996, 1998-2000 Damn Yankees), Randy Johnson (2001, Arizona Diamondbacks), Freddie Garcia (2005, Chicago White Sox), and Jamie Moyer (2008, Philadelphia Phillies) -- bolted the organization to cop World Championship rings. Outfielder Dave Henderson and pitcher Rick Honeycutt played in three-straight World Series contests with the Oakland Athletics (1988-1990), including the 1989 championship team. Even Spike Owen (1986, Boston Red Sox) and Mark Langston (1998, San Diego Padres) played in the Fall Classic, albeit for losing teams.

The DDGP doesn't want to see another Mariner star leaving Seattle to win a Series championship. The Green Day song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" is becoming an all too-familiar of a Mariners mantra. Reverse the curse. We wanna winner, and we've waited long enough.

A rare Mariner win and a pitching gem

Two weeks ago, I watched a sorry contest between the Seattle Mariners and the Anaheim-based Angels of Los Angeles at Safeco Field. I left the game disgusted after the opposing team's batters poured on the offense by clubbing the home-team pitchers like mashed plantains for the Puerto Rican side dish mofongo. If I had paid for the tickets, I would've asked for a refund.

So flash forward to the eighteenth where the Mariners and the UW Physicians group handed out 30K bobblehead dolls pairing former Baseball Hall of Fame (HOF) members Ken Griffey Jr. and Ichiro Suzuki. The duo bobbleheads predicted "Copperstown Bound" -- a prediction that it doesn't take the Amazing Kresin to foresee.

But seriously, lefty Cliff Lee pitched a gem of a game for the cellar dwellers. Lee threw a complete-game shutout yielding six hits and striking out seven members of the Cincinnati Reds. One hundred and fifteen pitches... the guy pounded the hard-hitting Reds like mofongo.

Granted, Lee wants to leave by the season's end... ideally, earlier so he can get traded to a contending team (like, maybe the Cincinnati Reds.) Can you blame him? Meanwhile, Lee continues to give 100 percent to a very depressed and unmotivated team of players. Guys who play on auto drive don't hurl shutouts.

We wish you would -- and want to -- stay in Seattle, Cliff. If you leave, that's part of the business aspect of the game. We can only hope that Trader Jack makes a swap that lands some worthy prospects in your place. And please don't sign with the Damn Yankees.

We had joy, we had fun... and then we had the 2010 baseball season

Back in April, Seattle Mariners sensed optimism at the start of the 2010 Major League Baseball (MLB) season. Executive Vice President and General Manager "Trader" Jack Zduriencik swapped for former Cy Young winner Cliff Lee and signed free agent Chone Figgins. We re-signed Ken Griffey Jr. and Mike Sweeney. Hell, we unloaded clubhouse malcontent Carlos Silva for Milton Bradley. A few starry-eyed dreamers fantasized about the home team playing in the post season for the first time in nearly a decade.

Then, reality reared its ugly head in the scenario. Divisional rivals Anaheim-based "Los Angeles" Angels swept the Mariners in a pathetic three-game series over the weekend. Seattle is dead last -- and deservedly so -- in the American League West and eight games behind the Texas Rangers.

I attended Sunday's game. Watching the Mariners take a 3-1 lead in the bottom of the first, I dared to think that I might witness an infrequent Seattle victory. Then the Angels fed off Mariner pitchers like semi-professional eaters at the Golden Coral buffet. Hideki Matsui, whom the Mariners deemed as damaged goods and declined to sign, teed off on a Jason Vargas offering like Godzilla through a romp in the Ginza district. The Angels whupped ass in a 9-4 win.

Wak the f***...?

If the Mariners were dogs at Genesee Park (we're the only blog that would put forth such a scenario without substance ingestion), somebody would tighten the leash. Here's hoping that somebody in the Mariners organization reins in the hemp leash.

It happens every spring...

Linus Van Pelt of the Peanuts comic strip once observed, "There is no heavier burden than great potential." It is with these great expectations that the Seattle Mariners' highly anticipated 2010 season begins today at 7:07 pm in Oakland with a contest against their American League West rivals, the Athletics.

The off-season acquisitions of pitcher Cliff Lee, infielder Chone Figgins and outfielder Milton Bradley have Mariners fans excepting nothing less the division pennant. Those dreamers amongst us eye bigger things for the home team.

Earlier this year, we imagined Seattle Mariners players at dog breeds at the Genesee Dog Park. Outfielder Ichiro Suzuki's characteristics --athletic, intelligent and independent -- reminds one of the Australian Cattle Dog. The media have criticized the perennial All Star and former Most Valuable Player (MVP) for lacking the demeanor of an outgoing clubhouse leader. To those accusations, we say: Shut the hell up, J.J. Putz, Carlos Silva and Richie Sexson. What had you done for the Mariners lately? Quite frankly, nothing prior to a Democrat taking the White House.

The Mariners play their home opener at Safeco Field at 3:40 pm on Monday, April 12. Don't have tickets? Make friends with a scalper. Remember that all attendees will receive a free 2010 season magnetic calendar.

Here's to the home team meeting the great expectations of 2010.

Reasons for optimism in 2010

A public option for national dog health insurance? Sound Transit reversing its anti-canine bias.. and permitting dogs to ride light rail? People cleaning up after their defecating dogs at the Genesee off-leash area? Not really.

Recent acquisitions by the Seattle Mariners General Manager Jack Zduriencik have given some reasons for optimism for the 2010 Major League Baseball (MLB) season. The organization signed third baseman Chone Figgins to a four-year, $36 million contract. Then, the ball club traded for 2008 Cy Young winner Cliff Lee.

To use a Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) analogy, Figgins (.298, 42 stolen bases, 101 walks in 2009) resembles a whippet: sleek, fast, and flexible. Figgins played second base, third base and the outfield last year. Lee (14-13, 3.22 ERA, 181 strikeouts with two teams) is like a pointer with precision accuracy.

Then, in one of the most intriguing moves, the team then traded an overpaid, malcontented slug of a pitcher (the barely missed Carlos Silva) for the volatile, harmony-challenged outfielder Milton Bradley (.257, 12 home runs, 40 RBIs). The volatile outfielder makes Terrell Owens and Jeff Kent look like "Mr. Congeniality". In 10 years Bradley has played with seven different MLB teams. We anticipate Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu losing his zen cool with Bradley before the All-Star game. Wakamatsu may throttle Bradley by September. The DDGP wouldn't be at all surprised if Bradley was omitted from the play-off roster in October.