How can you laugh when you know Ichiro's down?

Ichiro says he's "depressed" -- and who can blame him? Local Seattle Mariners fans -- including those of us with Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP) -- harbored Great Expectations for the ball club this season. General Manager "Trader" Jack Zduriencik traded for former Cy Young winner Cliff Lee and signed free agent acquisition Chonne Figgins. Hell, we swapped one malcontent (pitcher Carlos Silva) for another (Milton Bradley).

The über optimists amongst us envisioned a possible playoff berth for the home team. And then the roof fell in. The Mariners declined to sign slugging first baseman Russell Bryanan, and instead traded for light-hitting Casey Kotchman. Then, the bullpen fell apart. The Mariners are an appalling 18 games behind the Texas Rangers the division leaders of the American League (AL) Worst... er, AL West.. God help us if the hapless Rangers escape the S*** List of Major League Baseball (MLB) clubs that never played in the World Series (the only being the Washington Nationals).

Wak the f***?

Is it any wonder that Ichiro is "depressed"? The All-Star right fielder is hitting .312 -- almost 100 points of No. 2 hitter Figgins (.229). Ichiro's .312 for the last-place Mariners is more like .362 on a winning team. Imagine Ichiro's stats if he were hitting ahead of Carl Crawford (.314), Nick Swisher (.303), and Mike Young (.299). At age 36, Ichiro has to be wondering if he's stuck on a hard-luck franchise whose stars (Edgar Martinez, Jay Buhner, Ken Griffey Jr.) never played in the Fall Classic. Tino Martinez (1996, 1998-2000 Damn Yankees), Randy Johnson (2001, Arizona Diamondbacks), Freddie Garcia (2005, Chicago White Sox), and Jamie Moyer (2008, Philadelphia Phillies) -- bolted the organization to cop World Championship rings. Outfielder Dave Henderson and pitcher Rick Honeycutt played in three-straight World Series contests with the Oakland Athletics (1988-1990), including the 1989 championship team. Even Spike Owen (1986, Boston Red Sox) and Mark Langston (1998, San Diego Padres) played in the Fall Classic, albeit for losing teams.

The DDGP doesn't want to see another Mariner star leaving Seattle to win a Series championship. The Green Day song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" is becoming an all too-familiar of a Mariners mantra. Reverse the curse. We wanna winner, and we've waited long enough.