A three-day weekend generates human stupidity

Maybe it's the relatively warm Seattle weather or the three-day Memorial Day weekend. Or maybe human stupidity runs year-round.

People in town don't seem to understand that the leash law applies to them and their canines. Within a span of five minutes around 12:15 pm, we saw two instances in which people hurriedly leashed up their dogs as they walked along the path in Mount Baker Park. Seattle Municipal Code (SMC) 9.25.084(a), Offenses Related to Animal Control says that it is unlawful for an owner to "permit any animal, except cats and pigeons, "to be at large or trespass upon the property of another." SMC 9.25.020(E) defines "at large" as "a dog or other animal inside the city of Seattle, off the premises of the owner, and not under control of a leash of eight feet in length or shorter."

Did you catch the conjunction in the definition of "at large"? It's not enough to maintain your animal under your control if the dog is unleashed.

But the brunt of our disdain will be heaped upon the thoughtless and stupid owner who left two tiny dogs -- a long-haired Chihuahua mix and a miniature Doberman -- "tied" to a sign pole on South McClellan Street between 36th Avenue South and South Mount Baker Boulevard. My own leashed dog and I passed your two pooches as we went for our stroll. The flimsy leash that you used to tether both dogs broke loose, and the Chihuahua mix scampered off in the direction. Although you emerged in a couple of minutes, the time seemed like an eternity. I didn't know if your dog would venture in the path of traffic -- cars, sport utility vehicles, the #14 Metro bus -- on McClellan. You said that you were "watching" and were "in the store"... a place locals call the Mioposto Restaurant.''

Selfish, careless lady, what the hell were you thinking?

I don't care if you were dining on roasted beet salad or picking up a Fungo Straginole pizza to take home. You had no business taking your dogs along on the field trip. Situated in a restaurant, you had no control of your dogs -- and less so than the others who tether their dogs to the bike rack next to the restaurant. Don't think your indiscretion is a big deal? SMC 9.25.081(f) characterizes animal cruelty as to "tether or confine any animal in such a manner or in such a place as to cause injury or pain or not amounting to first degree animal cruelty defined in RCW (Revised Code of Washington) 16.52.205."

They're playing your song, lady.

Third of July WTHWYT marathon: fit to be tied

When the cancer temptation struck, you couldn't resist the urge to fuel the beast. So you leashed up your adorable black-and-tab cocker and headed off to the Rainier Valley Rite Aid for a pack of More filters and a Twix bar. Around 4 pm this afternoon, you tied Cookie to the post of the sign denoting disabled parking and went inside to make your purchases.

Meanwhile, your cocker was tethered with just enough slack to maneuver off the curb and into the disabled parking slot. If Cookie escaped the leash, he could've run into a lot full of cars from shoppers purchasing supplies for tomorrow's Fourth of July barbecue. Or, worse, Cookie could've roamed South McClellan Street or Rainier Avenue South.

What the hell were you thinking?

Seattle Municipal Code 9.25.081(F) says it is unlawful to "tether or confine any animal or in such a place as to cause injury or pain not amounting to first degree animal cruelty defined in RCW 16.52.025, or to endanger the animal."

Here's an alternate but equally troubling theory: Somebody could untie the leash and walk off with Cookie. And maybe you wouldn't find your precious pup advertised on Craig's List. Don't snicker: pet thieves in Rainier Valley have no compunction about taking dogs out of their own fenced yards. Do you think tying Cookie to a sign post is a deterrent? You don't really believe all those "missing" and "lost" dogs are runaways...

Leave your dog at home.

¿qué diablos estaba pensando?

While operating your motor vehicle while texting or failing to use a hands-free device on your phone is a citable offense in the state of Washington, driving with your dog leaning out of the car window remains a crime against common sense.

Our spotter saw you driving southbound on 38th Avenue South near South Spokane Street around quarter after 12 this afternoon. A long-haired chihuahua leaned out of the driver's window as you wheeled your gold-tuned, late 1990s made-in-American sedan through Mount Baker. We couldn't tell if your dog was standing on your lap or some appendage on your interior car door.

What the hell were you thinking?

Your long-haired chihuahua had better pray to God, Buddha, Allah, Krishna... or all of the above... that you regain your good sense to outfit your dog with a car seat or belt when you take the road. Road rash hurts toy breeds as much as it does larger dogs.

Cute as a button... until Scruffy hits the pavement at 30 miles per hour

Sure, Scruffy looked adorable as the breeze flowed through his hair from the rolled-down window of your Prius. You probably thought that Scruffy, sitting in your young son's lap, was secure as your vehicle motored northbound along Rainier Avenue South near South Charles Street around noon today.

Secure... unless you brake suddenly when some jaywalker crosses five lines of traffic. Or secure unless some driver with his ear attached to his HTC Touch Pro rear ends your hatchback with his Yukon Denali. Then Scruffy goes tumbling onto Rainier Avenue South... and into the path of a double-coach #7.

Even more intriguing -- and disturbing -- is that the rear window remained rolled down as you turned west on South Dearborn Street and maneuvered in the lane that enters Interstate 5.

What the hell were you thinking?

"Red asphalt" doesn't look good on anyone, much-less your family dog. Roll up your car window so Scruffy doesn't fall out.

Travel tips from the Department of Common Sense

Apparently local canine fanciers haven't grasped the concept that dog-leaning-out-of-window-of-moving-vehicle is not the haute fashion statement of the warm-weather season. "Safety first" comes somewhere in the priority list after:

• Deciding whether to prepare shrimp ceviché or Cocoa Krisipies treats for the Lost series finale viewing party.
• Scoring tickets to the Seattle Sounders FC match against Argentina's Boca Juniors on the 26th without spending next month's Whole Foods budget. Buying organic vegetables at Safeway or QFC? What the...?
• Exhibiting sympathy for the residents of the Gulf Coast while still driving one's Lexus GX10 or Land Rover LR4.

Enough already.

Your friends at Car Talk have posted a FIDO (Freeway Information for Dog Owners) page on their website with a busload of information (how's that for a mixing your metaphors?) about traveling with your four-legged friends. By the way, Tom and Ray Magliozzi discourage drivers from the dog-leaning-out-of-window-of-moving-vehicle practice, which they say works "right up until the moment that a bee hits you in the eye at 70 mph."

http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/fido/

"No phone zone" in the park? Hell no, but common sense is in order...

Talk show icon Oprah Winfrey designated April 30 as national "No Phone Zone Day." The nation's Media Life Coach launched a ban on texting and using cell phones while driving. Makes perfect sense. Should human denizens of the Genesee off-leash park refrain from talking or texting on their cell phones?

As five-time Wimbledon champion John McEnroe might say "You can not be serious!"

Of course not. Most of us have used our cell phones at least once while we brought Sadie the Yellow Lab to Genesee.

But how many times have you seen some owner so engrossed in cell-phone conversation or texting that the individual doesn't notice.... her border collie taking a deuce on the other side of the park, his Viszla playing too rough with the other dogs, her Chihuahua sneaking out of the park.

Be a good steward when you and your canines visit the Genesee Dog Park. Ordering takeout from All Purpose Pizza or finalizing dinner plans at Verve Wine Bar and Cellar is flat out no excuse for neglect. Pay attention to your dog.

If you do what Oprah says -- and millions of people do -- sign her No Phone Zone pledge online:

http://www.oprah.com/questionaire/ipledge.html?id=4