Tell Mama... Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day from your friends at the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park (DDGP)!

We posted this item early enough in the event that you awoke from your hangover, logged on and -- to your dismay -- realized that you forgot Mother's Day. To those guilty of the crime of omission: Shame on you. In these days of Skype and high-speed, Internet-bundled phone service, don't think for a minute that Mom will be satisfied with your phone call. We're not living in the 1970s; Mom is onto you. She won't take kindly to a text message, either, tightwad.

Quick: Get yourself to Costco, Pottery Barn or Crate and Barrell -- and pick up a last-minute present. Gift cards and money work as suitable substitute gifts.

American corporations -- greeting card companies, florists, cell phone carriers -- knock themselves out shaming us into purchasing gifts for our deserving mothers. Funny thing is, the creator of Mother's Day would not be amused. Anna Jarvis, a former teacher, dedicated her life to establish a holiday honoring mothers of the past and present. Jarvis pursued politicians, lawmakers, religious leaders, businessmen and members of women's groups to promote her cause. When Jarvis linked up with the World's Sunday School Association, she gained a valuable ally in lobbying members of Congress to create a national holiday commemorating -- in the words of Connie Conehead of the classic Saturday Night Live skits from the 1970s-- the maternal units of the family.

In 1914, Congress passed a Joint Resolution establishing the second Sunday of May as "Mother's Day". President Woodrow Wilson signed the legislation. The original intent of the holiday to laud the roles of American women in nuclear families.

Ironically, Anna Jarvis opposed the inevitable path to commercializing Mother's Day. "I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit," she said. Jarvis 0pposed the sales of commercial greeting cards, which she described as "a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write."

In 1923, Jarvis filed suit against New York Governor Al Smith in opposition of a Mother's Day celebration. When a judge dismissed Jarvis' suit, the angry plaintiff participated in a public protest and was arrested for her endeavors.

Anna Jarvis's original intents notwithstanding, you would be well advised to fete your mother in the manner in which she deserves. Maybe Mom wants an iPad or Kindle for Mother's Day.

If you really want to score points -- and simultaneously draw Jarvis' ire -- prepare Mom a celebratory brunch cocktail with frittats that you prepared:

Bloody Mama Bloody Mary

• 1-1½ oz oz. vodka in a highball glass filled with ice.
• Tomato juice, enough to fill glass.
• 1 dash of celery salt.
• 1 dash ground black pepper
• 1 dash Tabasco.
• 2-4 dashes of Worcestershire sauce.
• 1/8 dash pure horseradish (not creamed).
• Dash of lemon or lime juice.

Shake contents vigorously -- if you're 007 -- or stir if you're Oddjob. Garnish cocktail with celery stalk.