Don't knock the collie: Stop your whining, and buy an umbrella

Since we reported the prognostications of O'Doul the Collie, rain -- sometimes in buckets -- continues to fall upon an already-drenched Jet City. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) forecasts an El Niño winter (mild). The tufts of fur removed from O'Doul's summer coat this autumn suggests something wetter (you're soaking in it).

As of November 20, 6.7 inches of rain have fallen in the Seattle. By comparison, the average amount of precipitation for November measures 5.9 inches. Check out the daily rainfalls for: Friday, November 6 (1.21 inches); Saturday, November 7 (0.9 (inches); Monday, November 16 (0.77 inches); and Thursday, November 19 (0.7 inches).

No use complaining, you'll never change the amount of rainfall. Makes you want to sing an Oscar-winning Burt Bacharach and Hal David tune.

User Profile #2: Murphy Beagle

NAME: Murphy

BREED: Beagle

AGE: 5½

RESIDENCE: Mount Baker

FAVORITE PARK ACTIVITIES: Refereeing, sniffing, trolling, digging up buried tennis balls

FAVORITE NON-PARK ACTIVITIES: Walks, meals, naps

CANINE HEROES: Westminster "Best in Show" Champion Uno, Snoopy, Underdog

FAVORITE (PRESIDENTIAL) FIRST DOGS: LBJ's beagles Him and Her

HUMANS HE'D MOST LIKE TO EMULATE: Professional Competitive Eating Champion Joey "Jaws" Chestnut (consumed a world record 69 Nathan's Famous wieners and buns in 12 minutes), Travel Channel Man v. Food television star Adam Richman (conquered the Don Shula Challenge by devouring a 48-ounce Porterhouse steak in 20 minutes).

OTHER PARKS VISITED: Blue Dog Pond, Marymoor

ADOPTED: South Pacific County Humane Society

http://www.beachpets.com

The tribe has spoken: Wrap it up and ship it out!

The polls have closed and the readers of the Dog Denizens of Genesee Park have spoken -- and the news isn't good for those patrons who refuse to clean up after their pooping pooches.

Sixty-six percent of those surveyed said that the compliant park users should pick up the discarded feces, put it in a care package and deposit the dog waste on the offender's yard.

Sixteen percent of respondents said the offenders should be coerced into picking up the dog waste. The 16 other percent -- perhaps taking a page out of the Tony Soprano playbook -- said the offender should get out a spoon to get every drop.

Nobody endorsed the idea of turning the other cheek and giving the offender a "pass." We may not be Paramus, NJ, but we're not pushovers, either.

The Dog Denizens of the Genesee Park blog does not endorse violence or criminal mischief. But we strongly encourage park users to pick up after their dogs. The weather is getting colder and wetter, if not downright crappy.

If the offenders don't fear shunning by your fellow park users, the offenders should consider Seattle Municipal Code (SMC) 9.25.282 (offenses relating to safety and sanitation). The SMC says it is unlawful for an owner to:

(B) Fail to remove the fecal matter deposited by his/her animal on public property or private property of another before the owner leaves the immediate area where the fecal matter was deposited;

(C) Fail to have in his/her possession the equipment necessary to remove his/her animal's fecal matter when accompanied by said animal on public property or public easement.

We don't want to rat you out. Pick up.

Inherit the Wiffle ball

Wiffle balls -- or their generic, plastic cousins -- have proliferated at the Genesee off-leash area. While camouflage undoubtedly plays a factor, the plastic balls seem to outnumber the muddied green tennis balls at a four-to-one ratio. The park looks like former Seattle Pilots knuckleballer Jim Bouton threw batting practice. Or that a chocolate lab got bored after 15 minutes of shagging fungoes.

Do our dog denizens fetch these balls, which are undoubtedly more durable than their Penn- and Wilson-branded counterparts in the wet and muddy park? Are the plastic items cheap chew toys... and a gastroenterologist's nightmare? This much is certain: it's easier to rinse off a Wiffle ball coated in canine bodily waste.

Dubs: Good mascot, bad name

A loyal University of Washington alum, I never warmed up to the permanent name of the school's "live mascot": Dubs.

Dubs? Isn't that the name of Sonny Crockett's partner on Miami Vice? The substitute town drunk on the Andy Griffith Show? An unpopular former president?

Hate the name, love the mascot.

Name not withstanding, Dubs is a worthy ambassador of the self-proclaimed "university of a thousand years." The media savvy UW athletic department created an Internet site and blog for the Husky icon. A prolific poster, Dubs posts items on his "blawg" about every two or three days. For those of us with too much time for trivial thinking: Is Dubs an Apple Mac OS X Snow Leopard or Microsoft System 7 user?

Would Dubs journey to lovely Rainier Valley to visit the Genesee off-leash area? Dubs seems more like a frequenter of Full Tilt Ice Cream or Geraldine's Counter than the Silver Fork restaurant or Taqueria Los Potrillos. (Thankfully, the one year-old Malamute isn't old enough to patronize Angie's Cocktails.)

http://www.gohuskies.com/genrel/dubs-home.html

http://huskymascot.blogspot.com

Smelly dogs and the Fairness Doctrine

Some fair-minded readers may have considered patently unfair my comparisons of impacted anal glands in need of expression and canine yeast infection to Aqua Velva Musk aftershave. Point well taken.

So consider these alternatives to a wet, smelly dog:

• A dog that visited Genesee Park rolled in a pile of doody that a careless another has failed to pick up.
• Morning "doggie breath." Or generic "doggie breath."
• Hai Karate after shave or Brut cologne.

Collie scoffs at NOAA: Calling Mr. Plow...

While meteorologists at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) predict a mild El Niño winter, one weather prognosticator strongly disagrees.

Meet "O'Doul the Collie", a longtime Mount Baker resident ("O'Doul" and his owner "Tony" preferred aliases for the purposes of this post). In October 2008, Tony then marveled at the sizable tufts he was collecting as O'Doul shed his summer coat for the upcoming winter. Tony had not seen a collie -- a breed of which he has favored for years -- shed so much. Prepare for a "hard winter," Tony warned.

Naturally, I scoffed. While a well-trained dog, O'Doul didn't strike me as weather savvy. It's not like he interpreted Doppler radar reports between naps and walks.

Of course, O'Doul the collie enjoyed the last laugh. Tony recalls combing out enough collie hair to fill a large recycling bin... you know, the one used to store paper and plastic recyclables. December 2008 experienced two weeks of winter misery: record low temperatures and major snowstorms on December 18, 20, 21, and 24 with the pesky, non-follicle-related white flakes in amounts ranging from six to 24 inches. The city's impotent response -- particularly by the leadership of the much-reviled Seattle Department of Transportation (SDOT) -- guaranteed icy arterials with the consistency of Kent's ShoWare Center hockey rink... with ruts the size of Coke bottles.

Thus far, Tony has combed out enough collie hair to fill half a recycling bin. While Tony doesn't foresee snowfall matching 2008, this year's collection of collie hair disputes forecasts of the El Niño winter. Snowfall is a definite possibility.

What does this prediction mean? Outgoing Mayor McCheese and his posse of cronies had better pick up Costco volumes of salt. Even if collie is off, the salt will keep for the next big snow storm.

Stay tuned.