Kirby Beagle, Your Enthusiasm is Showing: Beef... real food for real beagles

Kirby Beagle here.

The health-conscious among you must find it puzzling that people in Seattle are knocking themselves out -- some to the point of cheating -- to lure a burger joint to their neighborhoods.

Somebody asked me, "Kriby Beagle, shouldn't we stop the establishment of grease-laden food? Shouldn't we encourage businesses that sell healthy food to the Rainier Valley?

I say, "Go chase a car."

I'm a dog. I don't understand cholesterol counts, blocked arteries, and human obesity. But I know what I like: food. While I'm always happy to find the ubiquitous chicken bone during a walk in the Rainier Valley, I also enjoy variety. I've tasted a couple Dick's cheeseburgers in my lifetime, and I wouldn't mind a more consistent supply. We don't get out to Broadway or Wallingford very often. A trip to Lake City Way more likely stems from an emergency visit at Access than a burger feeding a burger fix. I've never been to Queen Anne or Holman Road.

Locate a Dick's Drive-In in the Rainier Valley - maybe near Hillman City or that stretch between the commercially challenged area between the Silver Fork restaurant and Franklin High School -- and I know there'd be an influx of cheeseburgers and hand-cut fries in the Genesee Dog Park. It cracks me up when people bring food to the park, and then get mad when I want a bite. Awhile back some yum-yums set up an agility course at the park with a buffet table full of doughnuts and dog treats -- and then got nasty when a pal and I investigated. Another time, a young woman climbed on a log in a panic and hurriedly downed her sausage-and-egg biscuit rather than share breakfast with her new friends. Do any of you chuckle heads remember that you're at a dog park?

We're dogs. We think we're entitled. A local Dick's Drive-In would make many dogs -- maybe yours -- in the Rainier Valley happy. Think about that when you vote on the new Dick's location.

Later,

Kirby Beagle

Kirby Beagle, Your Enthusiasm is Showing: Seafair puts the pee in party

Kirby Beagle here.

If you want a dog's perspective of Seafair, I'm your hound. I live in Mount Baker -- you may know my neighbor, O'Doul the Collie. I know a few things about this beast called "Seafair".

On one hand, Seafair is a dog's paradise. You wouldn't believe the food scraps that people leave behind. I've seen corn cobs, chips and more chicken bones in a weekend than I usually see in three or four months. My neighborhood seems to collect an unusual amount of chicken bones, although I hear from other sources that chicken bones are universal. Share the wealth, I say.

I find the decorations from Seafair inspiring. On Seafair weekend, you see those giant, inflatable beer bottles in front of the convenience stores. I would love to lift my leg on one of those babies, although my roommate -- that uptight human being -- won't let me. Funny, you don't see giant beer bottles to mark Christmas... a giant Noche Bueña. That says, "Feliz Navidad" to me more than a couple dozen fruitcakes!

Longtime residents in my 'hood recall seeing people urinate in the bushes, the alleys. Not cool. Dogs peeing in public... that's the way of the world. Membership in the canine class has its privilege. Deal with it.

I can't believe how loud those Blue Angels get. When I'm inside and I hear those jets roar, I feel like those birds will tear the roof off the house. What I don't get is how the Blue Angels get away with the deafening racket. I bark in my own hood and some spiteful red stater calls the pound... and somebody with a badge shows up on my doorstep. Do the police go the runaway to speak to the Blue Angels? I don't think so. How fair is that?

Later,

Kirby Beagle